Ignorance is Bliss.

This is me leaving our wedding over a year and a half ago. Had Justin known that just a few hours later, I would be on a full-blown mission to procreate, he may have re-evaluated this whole marriage thing. I kid. I’m pretty sure he knew what he was getting himself into… Somewhat.

I have always loved babies — they are the sweetest, best-smelling little things — and as soon as Justin and I were married I began having visions of us with our own little ones (they were mighty cute in those visions, I must say. They’re coming from some pretty good genes, apparently.)

Anyway, as much as I wanted a baby of my own, the desire to be a cute pregnant lady was almost as strong. I remember the countless conversations with Stephanie, discussing the importance of continuing to wear high heels throughout pregnancy… I still strongly believe in this, by the way. See, I had this preconception about pregnant women. At the time, they seemed like the 2.0 versions of themselves with their glowing skin, thick hair, cute clothes… I absolutely couldn’t wait to experience all of that and be equally as adorable!

Let’s fast forward to Spring, 2008. I’m pregnant everybody! Yay! Any day now, I’m going to have that enviable pregnancy glow, Victoria’s Secret model-status luxurious hair, be prancing about town in my 4″ stilettos, and showing off my sweet baby bump. Uhhh, wrong. Yes, being pregnant is wonderful and exciting and the thought of a little life growing inside of me is enough to make me want to cry at times… but I am definitely NOT the Morgan 2.0 I had always envisioned. Here’s a little glimpse into a day of this little pregnant lady’s life…

Morning

Stumble out of bed after restless night’s sleep… managed to make it through another 8 hours of tossing and turning due to the most irritating form of cold/hot flashes I’ve ever experienced. Make up your mind, body! Do you want the three layers of blankets, or the tank top and panties? Frustrating, let me tell you. Not to mention the 17 trips to the bathroom to pee (I don’t remember drinking 50 gallons of water, thank you), where it takes on average, 3 full minutes to empty my bladder because it dribbles out SO FREAKING SLOWLY. TMI? Should I have given a disclaimer before trapping you into reading this? Well, I’m about to go into an in-depth anatomy discussion, so the weak have been warned.

Hop in the shower, take a look at my not-so-flat stomach and realize I can no longer see it as easily as I was once able to. I have these … things in the way. Since when do you blow up 2 full cup sizes in a month? Seriously. It wouldn’t be so bad if the thought of their post-deflation state wasn’t so terrifying… I have a feeling these babies have hit their peak and are on a downhill slope from here on out. This saddens me… I’m too young to sag!

Look in the mirror to see thin, limp, lackluster hair and a brand new patch of broken-out skin (topping off the lovely albino-ness that is consuming my face, since I haven’t allowed myself to tan since finding out).

Outfit choosing time… my favorite! Let’s see which of my tops makes me look least like a stuffed sausage. The one that I used to use as a lounge-around shirt because it was so big and comfortable? Fatty, for the win!

Breakfast… eww. May barf at the mere sight of eggs. Off to work.

Lunch

Four hours, a dead co-worker (don’t mess with me, man), and exactly 83 trips to the bathroom later, the craving for Mexican food sets in. YES, I can eat! … Uh, nevermind. Apparently the toilet enjoys burritos as well.

Evening

Feeling good, feeling good. Was able to consume a cherry Slurpee, 5000 calories worth of salt and vinegar chips and Subway sandwich in one sitting without puking it up. Woman of steel, right here. A little Office, LOST, reading up on what variety of fruit my baby compares to today and I’m off to bed. And the cycle repeats.

I’m such a Debbie Downer, right? Gotta love these hormones. Well, at least from the ankles down I look stylish.

9 thoughts on “Ignorance is Bliss.

  1. The boobage part was my favorite, haha! Though, I would be complaining about my belly and not my boobs :D I’m excited for and hope to read many preggy friend’s blogs over the next fewish years, wink wink nudge nudge.

  2. Haha, I agree! STEPHANIE! Get on the ball, little lady.

    That’s what she said.

  3. okay okay. you’ve talked me into it.

    *drives home.. oh wait Cale’s at work.. Goes to Cale’s work and traumatizes his coworkers.. comes back to keyboard. fixes hair as typing*

    there you happy?

  4. I love it all…reminds me exactly of being pregnant with Jenna from the boobs to the mexican food. I remember I drove accross town with Eric to meet Courtney and Mik for some Bobby’s I was so excited till they brought out my plate…and had to sit outside till everyone was done…yep. Good Times. So not what you invisioned but neither is having a baby and being a mom. You can’t imagine the love you are about to experience…it’s better that anything!

  5. Yep. You are definitely pregnant. And yep it is never what you expected.

    I thought I was going to be eating all these great organic meals every single night and cooking up a storm. Umm… yeah, not happening around here.

    I think I’ve cooked maybe 3 meals since finding out.

  6. Just coming from a guys perspective, a pregnant lady is not just cute but also beautiful, one of the most beautiful things in the world. Though I know that doesn’t help much with the 83 trips to the toilet…

  7. lol, Stephanie! You girls are so funny.

    poor thing, Morgan! I’m sorry it’s rough for you right now. There is definitely much about pregnancy that is NOT fun. However, I hope that the further along you get you will find yourself enjoying it more and more– it really is wonderful when the fun things come along, such as the baby kicking, and your tummy gets beautiful and round. And I know no matter what, you WILL look fabulous! It’s you, after all! :)

  8. morgan, i am actually commenting to say that you wore the same wedding dress that my cousin’s wife wore – gorgeous!
    i just love coincidences, that’s all :)

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