Things you should never say to a pregnant woman
Look at you, mama, you’re growing! How much have you gained?
and
Your belly has gotten big all of a sudden. It looks like the baby has dropped. How far along are you again?
- The obnoxious male janitor who considers himself the pregnancy expert because he helped deliver 6 babies while in Vietnam. Seriously. And to answer your question, dude, I have over 3 months to go. She has not dropped.
When are you due? Like, any day now?
- Cashier at restaurant. And hi, I know I’m 6 and a half months along, but I’m not even that big!
- The lady in the office next door asks me this every time she sees me. It’s just unnecessary.
Just be sure not to gain too much weight. You have wide hips already, and it’ll stick to those. Trust me.
- Well-meaning, but extremely RUDE woman from another office in our complex.
Justin, in reference to my thigh: Ooooh, gooey!
Me: …
Justin: I meant… smooth. Velvety? I’m sorry.
I don’t consider myself overly sensitive to most of the things people say and realize there are some things that just come with the territory. Pregnancy is like having a spotlight shining on your life, inviting everyone to come and see the show. Unless hiding out for 9+ months and giving birth in a cave appeals to you, you’re not getting out of it, Sister.
Belly rubs, stares, and comments of all sorts are just a part of the experience. And normally, I pretty much love the attention! I realize this will probably be the last time anything is all about me, which honestly upsets me a bit, haha.
The only real issue I have are the flat-out rude and unnecessary things some people let loose without any concern for my body image issues (and no, those don’t magically disappear when you become pregnant). If you were to comment about a woman’s weight or size under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be acceptable, but that sweet little baby bump seems to welcome it all.
Call me “cute”, “glowing” and rub my Buddha belly all you want, but try to keep the ‘chunky’s to a minimum. Thanks, lady!
Have any of you experienced anything similar? I’m sure even those of you who have never been pregnant have had someone say something about your body that was just plain rude. Let’s relive all those cruel and awkward moments in a very public way, come on! :)
Tags: body image, Me Being Pregnant
Only the beginning, my friend. Not only have I gotten those types of comments (mostly cow0rkers — friends and family never say things like that), but I also get inquiries into how often I pee and if I am dilated yet? (Which either are none of their business.) The “wow, you’ve popped.” And “Wow, you’ve dropped.” make me self conscious, even though I shouldn’t be. I wrote a few posts on this subject myself. Good luck.
on August 19th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
wow. I mean, people just don’t think before they speak! You look adorable and tiny!
I’ve had a boss ask me why my butt was so low once. It was the pants! He also made comments weekly about my body until one day I just went in the closet and cried. lol I was in my early EARLY twenties but I should have filed a complaint. live and learn
on August 19th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Some people are just rude. I think you look fantastic. Don’t listen to the ignorance of others. Keep on shinin’ Mama.
on August 19th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of people just lack filters completely. I’ve never been pregnant, but I have unusual hair. It’s interesting, and not a lot of people have seen hair like mine before. I’ve had many strangers often come up to me in the mall, in the grocery store, literally on the street and reach out and touch my hair without asking first.
My mother also used to tell me stories about how strangers would reach into the stroller when I was a baby and pinch my cheeks because they are so big. I don’t think that it’s wrong to tell people that they’re offensive when they are and ask them to never do it again. Some people just don’t know until they know.
on August 19th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I know what you mean. I am 22 weeks pregnant and can’t stand the weight comments. :)
After a doctor’s appt I called up my sister to tell her how everything went and her first question was “so, how much weight have you put on?”
Huh? What….no, “how’s the baby?”.
on August 19th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
It is amazing the kinds of comments we get while pregnant. I was so shocked for a while, but now, I feel like saying “Fukc you!” to everyone who opens up their rotten little mouths with a comment like that. It’s absolutely exasperating!
on August 19th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
you’re the hottest pregnant girl out there, tell those assholes to shove it.
wow, that was a little rough. haha. but really, don’t let it get to you, you DO look great.
on August 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Geeeees…I can’t believe that many random people would stay that stuff! and “be sure not to gain too much weight?” are you kidding??? Uhhh okay i’ll just starve my baby. Dummmbb.
on August 19th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
My friend, who had a kid 20 months ago so she should know better, said “wow your ass is huge you must be having a girl”. Then “Ohhh you’re gaining all your weight in your arms and butt”. I wanted to shoot back with “Isn’t it weird how you’re 2o months postpartum and I’m 28 weeks pregnant and yet I still weigh 15 lbs less than you”, but I wasn’t going to be as rude as she was being.
on August 19th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Some people can be way to rude! you look all happy and glowey (sp??) and those people should have tape stuck to their mouth.
I have had quite a few comments regarding my looks but I mostly ignore them. I have enough issues without them moaning about my looks too. Considering my doctor says im underweight for my height.
on August 19th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Hi Chunky?!?!?…..HI CHUNKY?!?! She really says that? Say it to her and see how she likes it
on August 19th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I cannot believe someone actually called you chunky. I keep looking back at your most recent belly photo and thinking, “Dude. I’d better look that gorgeous when I’m preggers. Seriously.” I think that people will always find ways to give back-handed compliments and think it’s okay. Just keep in mind that you are a dish, and you have absolutely nothing to worry about!
As for me, I remember last year (when I was about 10 lbs. heavier than I am now) a guy that works in our building commenting on how I was really “filling out”. I’m sorry, WHAT. You don’t say that to a woman, I don’t care who you are.
And as always, people will always comment on my fair skin. My peeve is when people say how WHITE I am. I’m fine with fair, ivory, peaches-and-cream…but WHITE? You may as well call me glowing or something. And we wonder why I have this weird thing about needing to feel tan.
on August 19th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Ok, for realz — these people are BEYOND rediculous! It’s insane! You are the cutest, most stylish, TINIEST! little preggers girlie EVER! You are so adorable — I think these people must just be jealous, or something! So strange. Well, im so sorry you have to deal with these buttheads! I would be LIVID if I was you and had to deal with that lady saying “hey chunky” — I would say, “I”m sorry, what did you say?” and then mabye she’ll feel stupid repeating herself! But anyways, you really are so, so cute and small! And I’m going to steal wishcake’s answer — it’s really annoying for people to talk about how damn “white” i am — in particular some of my in-laws. grr. Excuse me for not baking in the sun and not wanting skin cancer! People are so crazy.
on August 19th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
It’s amazing what people will say. I got the “booth? Are you sure you can fit in one?” We got free dinner that night. Good Times.
on August 19th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
“Your boobs are HUGE!” and a recent “You’re pregnant? Really?” have been the strangest comments I’ve gotten. The first one is true, but still! And the second one made me wonder if I still looked pudgy instead of pregnant.
on August 19th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Oh my word, I can’t believe some of the things people have said to you girls! I think it’s safe to say we all pretty much feel the same about those types of comments, right?
Nanette - I almost said, “Thank you!” about the boobs comment, haha.
on August 20th, 2008 at 9:55 am
AHHHH! I am in utter shock that people would say things like that to YOU especially, a little model of a beautiful pregnancy! I’m getting nervous. In the UK, Scotland at least where I was pregnant with my son- British people would just NEVER say things like that. Sure, they were probably thinking them, but that’s where their passivity was a good thing I suppose. = ) Lord help me, I’m a sensitive woman!
on August 20th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
My ultimate (nearly at the end of my pregnancy) when I went to the shops and waited in line and the guy in front of me said:
Guy: You’re expecting twins?
Me: No, just one
Guy: Give us a side profile…
Me: Ready to smack him over the head…
Lea White
http://whitesinnz.blogspot.com
on August 20th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Wow!!! I am not and have not been pregnant but I have girlfriends who have had babies…my biggest surprise was watching total stranger walk up and rub their bellies without asking!!! That totally freaked me out…Hello! You are in the bubble, get out!
on August 21st, 2008 at 6:05 am
girl, I had people coming up to me all the time when I was preggo. They didn’t touch me, (thank God, I probably would have hurt someone-raging hormones)
At 6 months I started getting the same comments. Random people at work stopping at my cube, people at stores, including a check out cashier. It was all the same…twins? due any day? dropped yet?
Seriously. those days with morning sickness when I actually showed up for work? I stared a lot of people down. this did not deter them
on August 21st, 2008 at 7:05 am
I can’t wait for your blog where you talk about drop kicking that woman. chunky bitch.
on August 24th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Just found your blog through Newly Wedded Wife and am loving it. I’m 34 weeks pregnant with a very large little man (who may be coming early) and am absolutely loving (insert sarcastic tone here) my one coworker’s comments of “You’re getting as big as a house!” or “That thing can be used as a weapon!”. Seriously, I’ve only gained 9 lbs!!! Gotta love the open mouth insert foot comments!
on August 26th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Thanks for checking out the blog, Mary. :) Congratulations on your big boy!
The comments… I just can’t get over how rude some people can be!
on August 26th, 2008 at 10:05 am
oh gosh i feel you! last week one of my coworkers said to me “wow you really popped, you look like you swallowed a watermelon over the weekend!”
on September 29th, 2008 at 11:32 am