About Chesticles

That’s it. I’m officially disowning my boobs.

(Can I even call them mine anymore? They seem to be owned and controlled by a tiny, bald crying person.)

Let me tell you why, my friends…

1. If it weren’t for the ample space they now take up, I would be able to fit into most of my pre-pregnancy tops. Now I’m having to slowly restock my closet because I have about two shirts I just keep cycling through. Not that shopping for new clothes is a bad thing…

2. …But it’s sort of becoming a pain. I can’t just walk up and grab any old Medium top like I used to. I have to actually try these suckers on. Which takes time. Which I don’t have the patience for right now. Let’s not forget the fact that Mediums fit a girl with a nice C cup, not E’s. Now extra larges (wow, seeing that typed out is so much more depressing than ‘XL’) are all the rage around these parts.

3. Stretch. Marks. If my only complaint was that they were big, I’d be able to deal… but there’s nothing cute about stretch marks. They’re like two old crack whores after a good beating from their pimp. Used and abused, I’m telling you.

Looking forward to when I stop breastfeeding and they’ll really be cute.

At least Madeline likes them.
At least Madeline likes them.

18 thoughts on “About Chesticles

  1. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling a little unsettled about breast feeding a little bald person who cries every 2 hours to be fed. He’s only 6lbs, but he’s getting heavy, ha.

  2. As much as I support breastfeeding, it wasn’t pregnancy that made these suckers what they are today, it was breastfeeding five children. Now they are like deflated balloons that have been blown up way too many times. My plan is for new ones, full, round and inflated!

  3. hahaha i love you. umm and saying chesticles is awesome. thats like alyssa and chris style talk. fo shizzle. um, yeah. good luck with those boobages.

  4. Great job with the breastfeeding!

    After being an A cup my entire womanhood, I’m
    STILL getting being a small C. It’s weird. And
    annoying not being able to wear my “normal”
    shirts. So I can totally emphathize.

    There is some hope though — when first starting
    out breastfeeding I was a D cup. So there is a bit
    of reduction once your milk supply is established.

    Blah blah blah. :) Madeline is sooo adorable!

  5. Ha! Your post made me laugh. Things people don’t tell you post-baby. I feel your pain. And having to replace nearly everything I own with larger sizes.

  6. I hear you. But let me tell you two things that might make you feel better:

    – Wait until you have your feeding and supply in balance – they might not stay that big. I started out with huge supply, and once it modertaed to what the Bun eats, it’s less, um, plentiful.

    – While the stretch marks sadly stay (I’ve got them from Pumpkinpie, too, ugh), and while they will look horribly sad immediately after weaning (I cried – really), mine did manage to make a come-back a few months after weaning and were not what they were, but not bad, either.

    There’s hope!

  7. Ummm I’m scared! Not of your chesticles but what pregnancy might (I mean, scratch that, will) do to mine one day. Yikes, my “girls” are already not small … so if Cs can go to Es … how big will that make my boobs?! Eeeeee! I’m not going to think about this right now. On the bright side – you haven’t told us anything about your shoe size changing so that is a BIG RELIEF! That would be 10 million times worse! And I know you’re a girl who loves her shoes! I’m crossing my fingers right now – all of them – that my feet don’t get permanently bigger after pregnancy. Oh man!

  8. Oh, you’ve gone and scared me now!! I knew there would be inflation and then deflation but I didn’t even think of the stretch marks. That picture of Maddie though? Totally shows that it’s worth it. I wonder what she was dreaming about with that sweet little smile.

  9. I have that problem with the shirts too, unfortunately, it’s because I gained weight instead of having a baby, Ha Ha. How are you sweetie?? Congrats on Maddie, she is so beautiful. I get to have lunch with her, your mom and Amy on Monday. I am excited to see them. I wish you could come too. Tell Stephanie I said hi, haven’t seen her forever either. :) Miss you!! Larisa

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