Homeless Guys Really Know How to Treat the Ladies
05th
2009
I approached the counter at my favorite coffee shop earlier this morning, ready to place my order — I was BEYOND ready for my latte. I heard heavy footsteps walking up behind me, and then the person’s voice, “Hey girl! You going for a ride later?”
Confused, I turned to see a middle aged, scruff-faced man in a long dingy coat. He was pointing at my knee-high brown boots. I smiled politely. I didn’t really want to encourage this, because I already knew where the conversation was headed…
“You look like you’re about to hop on a horse and go for a ride!” I turned back to the barista, gave a half-smile and finished my order. The man in the coat interrupted, “Hey Ray, can I have one of those samples you got back there? What are those called?”
The barista told him they were Pumpkin Spice. “Ooooh,” he said, “well I’ll take one of those… and one of her. She looks like a spicy pumpkin, don’t she?”
GAG.
The following three minutes consisted of me trying my best to avoid this guy, but failing miserably. He talked about how his dad always taught him to compliment the ladies because they like to know they look pretty, how he prefers when people put sour cream in potato salad (I know, it was random), and how Grey Poupon tastes “magical”.
When I finally had my coffee in hand and was practically running out the door, he yells after me, “I like you! You should be my roommate.”
And that’s how I was hit on by a homeless guy.
Ohhhhhh shooooooot!!!!!!
LMAO! This is hysterical!!! You spicy little pumpkin you!! Rawrrr!
Btw, I love how this is filed under “please kill me”
LOL! I love it. Pretty sure this is the best story I’ll heard all week. Why a doozy!
on November 5th, 2009 at 10:31 am
haha. sounds about as fun as when I was hit on by an old drunk guy in a gas station
on November 5th, 2009 at 10:57 am
OMG. Shouldn’t every conversation should include a little tidbit about potato salad? How random!! And the tag is the icing on the cake to this story. You are hilarious :)
on November 5th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Hmm, sour cream in potato salad…interesting.
on November 5th, 2009 at 11:57 am
you should have bought him lunch for your list!!!! though too bad you didn’t put “be a bum’s roommate” on your list because you were SO CLOSE!
on November 5th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
@Casey: I think I need to hear this story. lol
@Steph: DANG IT, I should have!! It was the perfect opportunity! hahahah
on November 5th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Ummm…. I have no words. Moment of silence for you my spicy pumpkin.
on November 5th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
o.m.g.
spicy pumpkin..wow.
on November 5th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Sounds like he’d be a great roomate. Too funny!
on November 5th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Haha! I definitely haven’t heard the spicy pumpkin line before! That must have been so uncomfortable! lol
on November 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Dang… I never get hit on anymore :-(
*LOL*
denise
Surviving breast cancer…
http://TeamDenise.org
on November 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
ahhhahahahah “You should be my roommate!”
Well then, that’s a new one. Oh boy. I feel your pain.
on November 5th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
WOW!!! You are just, so…lucky!!! “I’ll put some pumpkin in your spice”
on November 5th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I was almost attacked by a transient at a starbucks I had my daughter w me. You seem to have a similar problem I do I’m friendly and so randoms like to talk to me sometimes its scary lol.
on November 5th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
you are my little spicy pumpkin miss priss :)
on November 5th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
ooops, MRS. Priss.
on November 5th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
i love how he wants you to be his roomate.
where, exactly? =)
on November 5th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
creepy, just creepy.
on November 6th, 2009 at 7:34 am
@tia: My thoughts EXACTLY. In the bushes around the corner?
on November 6th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Oh my word. I NEVER get hit on, but the couple times I ever have, it was by men who looked homeless or crazy. That is completely depressing! One time a guy, who I was SURE was homeless, was practically following me as I walked to my car and chatting with me. I tried to be nice and talked to him. He asked me if I was taken and never in my life I don’t think have I ever been more grateful to have a wedding ring on my finger! I flashed him my ring and he shouted, “he’s a lucky guy!” WHO ARE YOU?
I am so sorry this happened to you but it was HILARIOUS to read! Thanks for sharing!
on November 6th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
ahhhhhhhahahahahahahahahahaha
wow. now there’s a funny story. “She looks like a spicy pumpkin, don’t she?” TOO FUNNY!!!!
come to think of it, if you ever get bored with “Mrs. Priss”, you could always change your blog name to “The Spicy Pumpkin”. It’s got potential. ;)
This seriously made my day. thanks. hehe
on November 6th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
wheww, spicy pumpkin!
is there anyone out there that doesn’t think grey poupon is magical?
on November 6th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Awww, I’m sure his cardboard box is nice and cozy! You should totally be his roomie!
on November 7th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Spicy pumpkin? Seriously haha the things that guys come up with.
This guy sounds like one of the guys I work with… so so so annoying!
on November 8th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Whaaaaat? I’d normally let a comment or two go without comment, but I don’t think I’d have been able to keep myself from snapping at that dude. Seriously annoying!!
on November 10th, 2009 at 7:14 am
so I told MrB about the post you wrote about “UAV IS ONLINE” and he thought it was hilarious….
he also wanted to know what your hubbys gammertag is. I’m betting if he is as big of fan as MrB is, he got the new one?
….
I’m not sure if I should be encouraging this
on November 12th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Bahahaha! Greatest story everrr! And it’s weird, because I’ve only met you once in person, but I can totally imagine what your facial expressions were the entire time this was happening.
Love it.
on November 14th, 2009 at 1:33 pm