More About Chesticles

A follow up to this drama-filled post I wrote back in January.

A note to the people on Facebook who pop on over here every once in a while, but don’t necessarily care to read about the status of my working boobs: Skip this one.

Once upon a time, I had a perfect pair. They were perky, full of life, and looked flipping amazing in every top I owned with little to no effort. You all know the whole bend-over-tuck-in-wiggle-push-up bit, right?  I NEVER HAD TO DO THAT. They were that cute.

Then along came this…

mrspriss_6 months pregnant_baby belly

…and with my transformation into that behemoth of a woman, my boobs became beastly. Gargantuan. Terrifying… yet, still strangely awesome in their own huge way.

THEN:

mrspriss_newborn_maddie_post partum

The arrival of Maddie brought them to incredible new lactating heights. And weights (probably about 5lbs each at this point, if I had to guess). That one you see there rivaled the size of my newborn.

I nursed Madeline for three months before I gave up (pumping at work became my own personal hell), and the downward spiral began. My boobs became a young 23 year old woman’s worst nightmare — small, saggy, lifeless and anything but cute.  My bra size seemed to decrease weekly, which was utterly depressing.  That wouldn’t have even be so bad if they would have just FIT into a bra without trying to wiggle out and say hi to everyone constantly.

Enter Summer, 2009. I lost all the baby weight! I was supposed to be able to wear tank tops and sun dresses and have hot, new mom cleavage!  Sorry, sister, not happening this year.

Quite frankly, I was pissed at life.  I know, I’m seeming a bit dramatic… but for someone who’s had her share of body-hating issues, seeing the one area I never had a problem with turn to complete crap was a little tough.

(Bipolar activity incoming…) Not all was lost though, miraculously! A month or two ago, I started noticing a positive change. I had a mom friend tell me this would happen, but I didn’t really believe her until it did.  They were actually starting to behave like good little girls. They weren’t flopping all over the place like they used to, and I could actually stand to look at them for more than two seconds without wanting to gouge my eyes out. They’re still far from what they used to be, but the good old 34C’s are back. That’s progress.

So here’s another bit of newish mom wisdom I’ve gained in a nutshell: They get big, they get bigger, they get HUGE and terrifying, then they look like crap for a while… but none of it lasts forever. They’ll be sort of cute again one day.

15 thoughts on “More About Chesticles

  1. Phew. I am in month four of lactation. I am seeing some potential for unpretty boobs in the future. I am glad they will sort themselves out, eventually.

  2. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Why did I click on this?? …and then proceed to read the whole thing?! I wish I could gouge out my mind’s eye!

  3. Well, that’s nice for YOU! Now where do I return my saggy baggy skin sacks?? B/c they obviously did NOT get the memo.
    Boooooo.

    Oh yeah….right, “don’t hate, congratulate”
    Congrats Morgan! ;)

  4. You are soooo witty. Yeah for some young mom’s the girlies do come back in a sort of good way. But as for most, you are left with girlies that are from your worst nightmare. I bet you can’t wait to see what they look like with the next baby ;-)

  5. I feel ya. My boobs were one of my best features. But two kids later… notsomuch. Hubs promises to put them back where they belong when we are finished with having monsters…er… children. :)

  6. Haha! The original post from Jan was one of the first ones I read from you and I was hooked!
    I had the EXACT same thing. I was seriously depressed over the gals for a few months, but once I started back my birth control, they’re not too shabby anymore! Can’t imagine what multiple kids may do to me, though. :)

  7. By coincedence I came on this website and I totally love it!
    Congrats of the first birthday of your little girl! She is so beautiful and I love her name!
    The three of you look like the perfect family. All of you so beautiful! And your eyes sparkle in every picture.

  8. I often wonder about the reality of how our bodies change when we have kids. I’m not entirely sure I want to have my own kids, or if I’d rather adopt, but I find it truly fascinating to read honest accounts like this.

  9. I had a similar experience after having my first child. But I hate to tell you, after the second child, my body has never recovered in many aspects. :(

  10. Stop trying to be all oh having kids isn’t all THAT bad. Nope nope nope.

    though reading through the comments.. I’m back to being scared again.

  11. I was thinking about this post the other day because mine are back! I had shriveled prunes for two months, but baby #2 has put things back in order for now. Kind of scared for a year from now when he weans though. Yikes!

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