Ever dealt with jealousy? Like, the Hulk kind? The type that has the power to birth a swirling vortex of rage deep in your soul in a matter of moments? And before you know it, you’re wanting to rip your shirt in half and growl at something, but have to stop yourself because that’s socially inappropriate and would just be uncomfortable for everyone?
You’re a woman. Of course you have.
Well lately, there have been buckets o’ rage over in these parts. We’ve had a lot of steam coming out of ears and stomping of feet and thoughts of Scream masks and rope and butcher knives…
Wait. Um. Hahahaha, I’m just kidding! You thought I was being serious! I mean, I’M NEVER JEALOUS!! I’m secure enough with my womanhood to let other attractive ladies flirt with my husband without a care in the world! Especially those hot older women who have suddenly decided to throw themselves in his direction, with their surgically enhanced cleavage spilling out all over the place and practically smacking him across the face! I LOVE WHEN THIS HAPPENS! Flirt on, ladies! Flirt on, I say!!!!!!
I swear. Out of nowhere, it’s like I was transported to straight-up Cougarville, USA and let me tell you… these broads have no shame. I can’t take Justin anywhere without some hot 40-something flashing a big, perfectly white smile and/or inappropriate amounts of tan boob in his direction. The kicker is that it usually happens when I’m not only standing next to him, but carting around our 18 month old daughter. I’m sure my expression and body language speaks volumes.
Fellow wives and girlfriends, what do you do when you see other women checking out your man? HOW DO YOU DEAL!?!?