Happy Meals: OKAY. I learned my lesson.

I thought I was doing a good thing by buying a Happy Meal for Maddie. I know how ridiculous that sounds because they’re so horrible for you, but I saw that they were giving away mini Madame Alexander dolls for the girl toy and it drew me in like a moth to a flame. I’m a sell-out and you may now feel free to curse my mothering practices.

(I ate all her french fries. Doesn’t that help my case a little? Yeahhhh, I know.)

I was expecting something pretty and girlie to come in that little cardboard box of artery-clogging death. You know, something of this nature:

Was I that lucky? HA, no. Justin actually bought her a Happy Meal on a separate occasion and ended up with the pretty Cinderella doll. Instead, I came home to my poor little daughter with this satanic looking thing:

I nearly crapped some sparkles, myself. Look at that thing! It’s eyes even open and close.

POSSESSED.

46 thoughts on “Happy Meals: OKAY. I learned my lesson.

  1. A couple years ago they had the Madame Alexander version of Wizard of Oz in happy meals…I grabbed one for Sophia on a long drive and we ended up with the Wicked Witch doll! Scared the crap out of my then just-turned-one​-year-old.

  2. I am a new reader, and I was just dying at this blog post, because I too got sucked into the Madame Alexander doll Happy Meals. And the wolf girl is seriously creepy.

    I love reading your blog because I too have a sweet little girl, and am now pregnant and just found out it is a boy! I am a little freaked out. I know girls. I don’t know boys. So I totally understand. :)

  3. so, my MIL is actually a general manager of a Mcds and when those creepy dolls came out she gave vegas every.single.one.

    long story short – every.single.one is now a dog chew toy. my sweet babe does not need nightmares this early in life.

    ps. i love your face.

  4. I don’t know what MacD think sometimes when it comes to their toys….That one is super WEIRD. Made for a good blog post and a laugh though!

  5. A couple years ago they had the Madame Alexander version of Wizard of Oz in happy meals…I grabbed one for Sophia on a long drive and we ended up with the Wicked Witch doll! Scared the crap out of my then just-turned-one-year-old.

  6. Thank goodness I have a boy. We got him a Happy Meal when our power was out recently and it came with a stuffed wrestling guy. At least his creepy eyes don’t open and close. Oh course, Ian is super attached to the dumb thing.

  7. Every time I go out and have too many drinkypoos, Peter buys me a Happy Meal on the way home to help me not be hungover the next day. This happened a couple weekends ago and I too got the wolf girl doll. SO creepy. Peter is genuinely scared of it–I kept it just so I can touch his arm with it at random moments and watch him freak out. He’s chucked wolfy across the room more than once!

  8. ack!!! what….is that thing?!

    Funny story….I used to collect those dolls, and my mom, last week, I kid you not, told me she went through the drive thru and got a happy meal just to get me a doll. Me. I’m 27. hahah. I got the pretty blue Cinderella though, not scary animalperson.

  9. I know this is another subject completely, but… if you have a boy, and you want the greatest action, badass hero name without naming him AHHNULD! Go the Superman route, not Clark, not Kal-El, he’d likely be teased with those… but Kent. Very nice, not too obvious, not too common which is a plus, and does it get any more badass than the one and only SUPERMAN?!?! And yes, I did name my son Kent, he’s 4 now and I’ve never yet run into another Kent. I have, however, run into 6,515 boys in his class alone, named “Connor” Congratulations by the way. -Chris.

  10. Wendy: Ah! What a funny coincidence! We’ll have to look to each other for guidance in this trying time. hahaha

    Crystal: Seriously?? I don’t know what I would do if someone dropped off the entire collection of those dolls. So freakin scary.

    Ashley: It’s Revlon’s Plum Seduction. Don’t judge it by the photos though because my nails were soo nast and chipped. I literally painted two quick coats in between my boss walking in and out of my office that morning, lol. It’s my favorite though!

    Amy: That’s so hilarious! You touch his arm, bahahahaha. My brother got freaked out by it when I brought it to their place too. He just stared with a disturbed expression on his face.

    Denise: I think it’s supposed to be the Big Bad Wolf. Ummmm…

  11. My 16 month old cried when I gave her this doll! My boys ended up putting it in their dinosaur&monster collection toy box! The eyes creep me out!

  12. Last time I was at McDicks they gave my 2 yr old son a Madame Alexander doll that looked like a boy that should be dancing at an Octoberfest stage show. Such a strange doll?? and for a boy? Who knows….

  13. We got one of those last week too – the one time in probably two months that I’ve taken the kids to McD’s. I agree, it’s hideous and very soon it will mysteriously disappear courtesy of me. Blah.

  14. We have a row of those scary dolls at my office. They are so bizarre, it’s not even funny.

    Except now McDonalds has moved on to Strawberry Shortcake dolls, which is awesome, but fake strawberry smell they pump those things with is almost nauseating.

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