On becoming a Stay at Home Mom

I’ve kept it pretty quiet in the past few months, but I figured that since I told my boss that I won’t be coming back to work after Jack’s born, I might as well tell you all as well! The plan is for me to stay home full time with my babies and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Those who are close to me know what a huge deal it is to me and how incredibly excited I am that we’re going to be able to make it work.

Two years ago I was on maternity leave with Madeline and I was a mess… a serious, hot mess. I was pretty good at faking the whole I’ve been a mom for 3 whole days and I wear high heels while cooking 5 course meals with a full face of makeup and I never cry and totally have it all under control thing… at least to the people who didn’t actually see me in person every day. The truth of it is that I was totally NOT okay at all, whatsoever, in the least, amen.

The super quick weight loss I talked about on this blog and chalked up to breastfeeding was really due to a horrible bout of postpartum depression that stretched on much longer than it should have. I had such an unnecessary and awful emotional experience immediately following Maddie’s birth that it only made it easier for the depression to cling on to me and not let go. I haven’t really gone into that side of the birth story on this blog so much, but it was truly horrible. I felt like the joy of giving birth and celebrating our new beautiful daughter was robbed from Justin and I in the midst of all this drama. That special day came ONCE, it was turned into something ugly and ridiculous, and we’re never getting it back. I still struggle with that every day.

Fakest smile ever. And yes, I just made 'fakest' a word.

So, going back to work after a whirlwind and drama-filled maternity leave was not an easy thing to do. My mind was nowhere near where it should have been. I didn’t realize what was happening to me at the time, I just felt completely overwhelmed, weepy, stressed and that my life was completely out of my control. The guilt of having to leave Maddie at daycare all week while having to work was the worst part of it, but there was really no other option for us at the time, being that 2009 was not an easy year for us money-wise.

Man, I missed my baby. She was all I thought about while the hours ticked by during the slow days at the office. All I wanted was to be able to stay home with her and just be her mama. I wanted to make up for that lost time and for that bad experience when she was born, but I had to keep working. I know there are women who are amazing at doing it all on top of working full-time and they seem to truly enjoy it, but I am not one of them. I don’t feel like I’m truly cut out for it.

I know this is quite an emo post, but I think it’s an okay time for me to finally share it and I hope it’s received well. I want everyone to know that I’m not attacking either side — the working moms or the stay at home moms — I just know what I can handle and wanted to be honest about that.

Emo stuff aside… I am so excited about this, you guys. SO EXCITED. This time will be better. I won’t be missing out on any more time with Maddie and I get to enjoy every day with my son from the very beginning. I’m only slightly nervous about how much work it’s going to be to handle two kids all day by myself, but I’m ready to do this.

98 thoughts on “On becoming a Stay at Home Mom

  1. You'll do great! I'm excited for your new addition and that you get to stay home! It is still kinda rough financially to stay home, but it's time and experience you'll never get back :) I must say, lounging in PJs all day is quite nice haha…you don't have anyone to impress, unless you want to get dressed/present​able! Plus, you get to snuggle your babies ALL day long.

  2. YAY! I am glad you get to be a SAHM. I’m also a SAHM mom two little ones (15 month old girl, 1 month old boy – he’s named Jackson actually!). It’s not as hard as I thought it might be with the two babies on my own. We’ve gotten into a bit of a rhythm, though I’m sure it’ll change.

    You can do this. :)

  3. Its the best job in the world and the hardest. I had NO idea you went through that at that time. I have been reading your blog for a while and I was actually pregnant looking to your posts as a guidline almost, lol, another first time young mom in a similar situation as me. I got to say too that I had one heck of a time after B was born, i was so down, and instead of losing weight like you, I gained a ton. Anywho, congrats momma! Your the BOSS now!!!
    xo
    KATY

  4. Being a SAHM is one of the hardest jobs ever,if done right :)
    And it is the BEST job ever ;)

    I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!

    I really hate that you had to go through all that :( Makes me so sad.

  5. i’m really excited for you!!!!

    i’m sad that you went through such a hard time but if anything maybe it helped you realize what you needed for the next time?

    anyway, no more work! YAY!! <3

  6. Morgan, I am SO excited for you, so thrilled that it’s going to work out for you to stay home! I admire moms who work, and like you, I certainly would never say one side or the other is right or wrong… but personally, I think being a stay-at-home-mom is the single best job ever. It’s ultra-challenging and so incredibly demanding in so many ways, but even on my VERY worst day, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing. Really. There’s just so many blessings. And since you have a desire to be at home with your children, I’m just so grateful that you’ve been given that gift. :) I can’t wait to hear all about being a SAHM from your funny wonderful perspective!

    (I know this comment is already super long… but I haven’t commented on your blog in way too long, and I’m making up for it now. ;)

    I’m so glad you shared with us a bit about your experience after having Maddie… and while it makes me so sad to hear it, it’s always good to know others experience things like that too. I was a mess after Emma was born. A MESS. And while I definitely did enjoy my baby, I also feel like there’s so much joy I missed out on, and so many memories that should have been happier. I hope you don’t feel guilty for the way it was when Maddie was born. Sometimes being a new mom really is just about surviving. And, the second time around really is easier, I think… I pray it will be for you. :)

    k, done. hehe. love you, lady!

  7. I have been a sahm for the last 7 yrs and have loved every crazy moment that has come along with it!!! It truly is a blessing and not everyone can afford to do it…so I hope you enjoy it!!!!!! Welcome to the club and btw I stummbled across your blog and love it!! You are the most adorable pregnant person ever!!!!!!!!!

  8. I've long struggled with the preception of others (my mother included!) that because I "only wanted to stay home with my babies" I was somehow taking the "easy way out" and not trying to do it all…I'm so glad to see you coming to terms with this early in your life and the lives of your children! I'm not the stay-at-home mom that the media likes to show either, but I'm exactly what my kids need! :)

  9. i did the whole "stay at home mom" thing for the first year of emme's life. and i'm so glad i did! it got a little too tough on us financially, though, and so i had to return to the workforce. i wish i could still be at home with her everyday, but alas…the military pay is crappy for what these guys do, and my husband and i both have college debt to pay off still. i hope to be able to stay at home in the future, though. you are so lucky you get to be with your little ones :) enjoy it! you deserve it!

  10. Yeah! The most important job of your life will begin when you don't have to go back to work and just be a mom. Congrats! But, for those of you who have to work, treasure your time with your children and be thankful that there is someone who will love and nurture your babies/children as much as you would. It takes special people to watch our precious special little ones. (or my grandbabies)

  11. Wow, what a beautiful and honest post, Morgan. I can relate to what you write. I went through that depression in addition to going through a divorce. It's ok to not have it all together and to not be perfect. Sometimes the sweetest memories come from those imperfect times! You GO GIRL. So happy for you. It's my dream as well and I'm praying I'll get there!

  12. Morgan,Your honesty is beautiful. Your birth experience is your story, as no one else will ever have the same story. It's sad that your first story was clouded by such unneccessary drama. That certainly was not what a new mama needed that such a precious time in your life. Sharing with others about the depression you experienced will help others recognize it should it happen to them. Postpartum depression is a very real and difficult thing for many. There is nothing to be ashamed of it if one experiences it. It will take mamas like you to get that word out, and help others.I'm very excited about the new journey of being a full time stay at home mom. It truly is the most difficult job in the world, but the blessings and rewards are amazing. It's those blessings that will keep you from wanting to strangle your kids when they become teens. lol Just kidding.Enjoy this time ahead, and don't let drama interfere in loving on those babies every moment of the day. some days will be hard, and some will be even harder. Keep close with those who uplift you and support you. Join with other mamas just to laugh and play on a regular basis.You will love it! And the wonderful mom that you currently are, will only continue to grow with each new baby that you and Justin bring into this world!Hugs to you!Kathryn

  13. i had a similar situation when autumn was born i dint trust anyone with her and the thought of leaving her made me crazy but with julie labor was so calm and peaceful and i too had already told my boss i wouldnt be returning its always been my dream to be a wife and mother when everything else seemed uncertain that was the only thing that seemed certain being a sahm has been wonderful and its not as bad as i thougt it was going to be after the first month it gets way easier congrats on your new little bundle. hope you have a better safer delivery this time around and god bless you and your family

  14. You will never regret staying home with your children! I was MISERABLE leaving my daughter at the babysitter's (even though it was my sister) everyday. One day, out of the blue, someone I barely knew called me up and asked if I would babysit her two kids while she was at work. I quit my job that week and never looked back. I'm happier now than I have ever been in my life.

  15. YAY! This is going to be the best thing you’ve ever done! I became a SAHM on 11/9 and I can’t imagine going back to work. You will bless your family so much with this decision. I can’t wait to hear how it goes! <3

  16. You'll do great! I'm excited for your new addition and that you get to stay home! It is still kinda rough financially to stay home, but it's time and experience you'll never get back :) I must say, lounging in PJs all day is quite nice haha…you don't have anyone to impress, unless you want to get dressed/presentable! Plus, you get to snuggle your babies ALL day long.

  17. Awesome post!!! I work with a gaggle of woman you describe. They work ALL day 40+ hours a week and they go home to their 3 children and cook and clean and do projects and make time for their husbands. It’s like where do you get the time… or better yet, ENERGY!?

    You have to do what’s best for you and everything else will work out. Enjoy your babies :)

  18. So excited for you! I am home with my 3 boys and I can’t imagine not being with them…even though they drive me absolutely insane, up a wall crazy some days. (I am not kidding…my husband has found me curled up with my hands over my ears after particularly bad afternoons). I was so right there with you after the births of my babies too…totally depressed and not telling a soul. …and like Katy…I GAINED the weight instead of losing it…double whammy…

    Anyway…if you go through the same thing this time afterwards…know you have an anonymous friend who knows what you are going through….you can spill everything to me if you need to. seriously.

    OH…and if I can give one tiny piece of advice…making the bed (in the morning or at 3 PM or even 8 PM) and dancing with the kids are the two cures I’ve found for the cabin fever and the “oh my goodness my beautifully designed world is being taken over by kid crap” syndrome…

  19. I am so happy for you! I have been following your blog for awhile, but I’ve never commented. When we are blessed enough to have children, my dream is to stay at home with them, too. I cannot imagine what mothers go through every day when they have to leave their kids at daycare…it must be heartbreaking.

    Congrats!!

  20. Awesome news. I am totally green with envy.

    Everyone is different – every family is different. Know that you do not have to justify the decision you and Justin made to anyone else.

    Happy hugs!

  21. I am happy for you that you are able to do what you want without the guilt. ;) I am a working mom, but I enjoy it (for the most part) and work in an environment that really accepts the fact that my daughter comes first.

    Good luck to you. :)

  22. I’m SO happy for you!! I’m looking forward to a wedding in May and then our hope for our lives is that I won’t have to work to be able to raise our kids. I know as a newlywed couple that could be and will be very difficult, but I know that I am like you, I wouldn’t be able to focus. Both my kids and my job would suffer. So, you give me hope that in this economy we will be able to make that dream come true!

  23. I am so happy for you that you will be able to enjoy the birth of your new baby boy without the worry of going back to work hanging over your head. My son is 2 and I am still not over the going back to work funk. Every new thing he does or says I know in the back of my mind that the people at day care got to be there for the “first” time he did those things.

    As for the birth of your son, please make sure you and Justin advocate for the birth you want and need to have. Unless there is a true emergency, don’t be afraid to tell them exactly how you want things to be. I hope it is an amazing experience.

  24. i can’t imagine how hard this post must have been for you to write, but wow. i’m so happy you’re going to get the chance to stay home every day now! that’s so wonderful. <3

  25. Just stumbled onto your blog today and it literally made me tear up, laugh out loud and think for a few moments which to be honest with a title like Mrs. Priss I wasn’t expecting. I’m so sorry that you went through some major difficulties with you little girl and see the strength you gained from that hard time! I will be back to read more!

  26. YAY!!! So excited for you to become a SAHM! It’s not the easiest job, but it’s the most rewarding :)

    Post partum depression is evil. I had it horrible with #2 without realizing what it was. I never felt like I was able to really connect with her, and it still devastates me (8 years later). When it was time for #3, I went on meds before she was born. I knew it was going to come and I refused to let it steal my joy again. I pray, fervently, that you have a better experience this time!

  27. I am so happy for you!
    Thanks for sharing some of your story, I had a hard time after my sons birth, and it is also something I still have a lot of guilt over. I pray this next experience is much easier for you!
    I know there are plenty of amazing working moms out there, but I just have my heart set on staying home. We couldn’t swing it financially, but I am SO blessed to have a job working part time from home. I don’t get a break since I am working everytime they nap or watch a little nick jr, but I am thankful!

  28. Girl, I love that you’re so honest about this stuff, mostly because I feel like PPD is an inevitable for me (not that I’m anywhere near to having a kid, but YOU KNOW) and it’s really encouraging to read about others who have dealt with it. I can’t wait to hear about all your adventures as a stay at home mom!

  29. It is *great* for you to share your story and I feel honored that you let us know a little bit about it. I stay at home with Everly right now, though I’m eager to find part-time work because while I love staying at home, I also feel a little bored/useless sometimes, so I want to go out & be productive with my degree!

    You will probably have a better experience solely because you’ve most likely learned a lot since then. Brace yourself just in case – have someone ready to talk to, maybe even take a low dose of meds to prepare. But stay optimistic because for many women, it’s a one time deal.

  30. I am so glad you are honest here. It really helps others when we share our stories and put away the fake smiles, even if just for a few minutes. I can’t say that I’ve experienced PPD, but I totally thought I was going to because there is major family history of it. I think the fear of it made me so anxious in a lot of ways and that really robbed me of a lot of joy. I definitely experienced a funk of sorts though when I found out I was pregnant with Sprout. Oh what a mess I was!

    Anyway, thanks for sharing. I like what you said about there not being one better than the other, just what works for you and your family and what you can handle. I think that is a perfect way of putting it. Every family, kid, and mom is going to be different and have different needs.

  31. That’s great that you get to stay home with Maddie and Jack! Not missing the milestones is the best part.

    I also went through horrendous PPD. The first week of my son’s life, I don’t remember and I hate that fact every day. He is 6 months old and I am still not alright. It has gotten better, but I’m definitely not back to where I was before Weston was born. Part of my issue is that I REALLY wanted a girl and we didn’t know until the baby was born what we were having. So, on top of all the post birth hormones, I also had a severe letdown issue. I love my son more than anything, but I still want a girl very much. Everytime I see that “boy” commercial you posted about Jack, it reminds me of my apprehension of having a son.

    I really wish that I had people to talk to about my PPD, especially when it was severe. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Hopefully with Jack, everything will be better.

  32. Ooooooh exciting! My mom was a SAHM and while at the time it sucked because she was always around and ‘involved’ in our lives and we could never sneak guys over to the empty house after school ET CETERA, as an adult, I’m so grateful that she was there. I honestly don’t know how working moms balance everything.

    Thanks for your honesty regarding your experiences after having Maddie. It seems to be something that’s pretty common and it’s good to know that it’s not always sunshine and unicorns – I mean, it’s not good that new moms so often have to go through this, but for the ones that do, it’s good to know that there are others who have been through the same experience. I hope you have an easier time with Jack.

  33. hearts and hugs and you know I love you and wish I could go back in time and ASK how you were doing. But I have no kids and no clue about baby blues.

    So this time around don’t get offended if I call you daily to make sure you’re doing okay ;)

  34. Good for you! It’s a blessing to have the option to stay home with your children because so many people do not have that option. Congratulations :)

  35. i am so excited for you! i also just told work that i will not be returning and i am so happy with my decision. i just don’t know how long we can go without my second income… i would like this to be a permanent thing.

  36. Congrats! With my first baby coming this spring, I’ve been getting more and more anxious about what to do after she’s born. I still have some time to figure it out, but it’s good to hear from other moms who have been through it.

  37. that’s great! thanks for sharing about your PPD. Do you know/think that feeling depressed *during* pregnancy has any effect as to how you’ll feel afterwards? we’re having a hard time with family drama right now and with the pregnancy hormones and all, i’m just not feeling myself. Not afraid of PPD, but just wondering if some depression before means depression afterwards? on a more encouraging note, I read on DOOCE once about her PPD experience with her first and then her non-PPD experience with her 2nd and i thought she summed it up well -“my first daughter made me a mother, my second daughter allowed me to enjoy it.” congrats on your little guy and best wishes for this time around!!

  38. Yay! I’m so excited for you! When you’re having a hard day just remind yourself that you’re exactly where you want to be. :)

  39. I’m thrilled for you that you get to try out staying at home with your kids, and I hope it gives you the time and space you need to really relish them. I can’t even imagine (yet) the mix of hormones and lifestyle changes that come along with the baby, but I know it can be one of the most difficult transitions–thank for sharing your experience.

  40. My heart goes out to you that you had to go through that after Maddie’s birth. It scares me to death that the same thing could happen to me, and it is one of the reasons I have put off my child rearing for so long. You are a very brave woman for telling your story, but it helps those who have gone through it, and it gives those of us who worry about it hope, that, if it happens to us, we too can pull through and have such a happy life just like you. Kisses! :)

  41. Wow. This was a really powerful post.

    First: *hug*.

    I’m sorry your first experience ended up so sad. But it’s awesome that you get to change that now and spend time with both of your babies. Life is about finding what works for you. And being a stay-at-home mom is right for Morgan and her family. I think it’s awesome that you’re going to do it.

  42. Congrats! I’m so jealous–I’d quit my job to stay home w/Jackson in a heartbeat if I could–and I know how excited you must be!

  43. This was really raw and beautiful. I feel so emotional after reading it. I didn’t suffer from PPD but definitely have all kinds of remorse about my first birth and the weeks immediately following. I wish I knew then what I know now but I’m definitely looking forward to number two someday and look forward to watching you go through this soon.

  44. I am so happy for you! Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding job anyone could have. Don’t let anyone fool you though, it is EXTREMELY stressful at times. It is important not to let frustrations out on your hubby when he gets home at night, as hard as that can be. I know there are days when my DH gets home an I hand him the baby and lock myself in our bedroom for an hour, but I wouldn’t chose any other job in the world.

    While your children are the most important, dont forget about yourself during your journey of becoming a SAHM.

  45. I’m so glad you’re going to be able to do what makes you happiest – and even happier that you felt comfortable sharing your depression story. I’m all about clearing up stigmas & coming clean with stories, especially if it A) helps you, & B) helps others. I think yours probably does both. <3

  46. Just found you a few days ago (looking for a hair flower tutorial!) and am really enjoying your writing. Not a mom myself (yet), but appreciate you sharing this – several people dear to me have lived with PPD and it’s one of many things I think it’s important for women to share…so that no one has to feel alone in it. Congratulations on being able to transition to staying at home! Very exciting. Best wishes!

  47. I don’t know if I’ve ever posted here before. (If not, hi! Love your blog.) I just wanted to say that I think it’s great that you’re doing this and that you were able to share a story so personal with all of us. My mom stayed at home to raise us, and I was always glad she did.

  48. Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing that. Motherhood is so much harder in reality. You read all these articles in magazines about celebrities who fall in gushing love with their babies from the moment they are born, and they live in utter bliss, just loving every waking second of it. And you know what? That’s just not reality. Reality is that its great, but its freakin’ hard at times. Really hard. Like you, I had to go back to work after my first child. However, I did not have PPD. Then I got pregnant with twins. And there was bedrest and a premature birth and a long hospital stay. And then? I was a stay-at-home-mom. My dream. And you know what? I was miserable as all hell. I had PPD like no one’s business. But I didn’t dare utter a word, because this was what I wanted, so I should be happy, right? And by the time my twins were 6 months old, I had lost all my baby weight and more. I was a size 0 and the only smile I could muster was flat and fake. I finally got the drugs I needed and man….motherhood became so. much. better. I don’t know why I fought admitting the PPD. Why I was so scared to admit I wasn’t happy. But many moms are. So make sure that if it happens, you don’t fall in that rut again. Enjoy your SAHM-hood from the start. Don’t feel guilt if you need help from the get go.

  49. Yay for you!!! That is amazing. My husband and I are trying to figure out our future, and I know I would love to do this if it is at all possible. So major kudos for you!!! What a wonderful thing to celebrate. Maddy and Jack will be so lucky to have you home.
    Thank you for sharing too, I’m trying to learn to be open with my readers, and its very scary.
    Oh, I’m just so happy for you!

  50. I love it when people are honest on their blogs. Thank you. It is refreshing and, even when you hurt for someone, it is a gift to know that you are reading truth. I don’t have kids yet but I worry about PPD, I suffered from depression right after I got engaged and have struggled with it ever since then, even though our marriage is great. It makes me angry that those happy times, those once in a lifetime moments were overshadowed by a depression that I didn’t understand. Every time I read hear someone’s story it reminds me that none of us are alone. Thank you for your realness (a little bit like fakest, but better).

  51. I so appreciate an open, honest piece of writing like this…from your heart. It breaks my heart to imagine what you went through, but I’m so happy that you feel good about being home with your little ones now! I feel blessed to be a stay-at-mom :) Even just with one sweet boy…as you know it takes work, dedication, & LOTS of love & snuggles (my favorite part).

    I’m so glad I found your blog. love love love it

  52. Hooray for you! I’m glad that you will be able to do something that you really want to do. I, too, had postpartum depression that got really bad by about four months. The good thing is that you know this about yourself and can look for the signs once Jack comes. And now, you can come to our MOMS group at Peoples! :)

  53. Holy comments. I am so happy for you. I even dread not being able to stay at home with our kids and we’re not even having any yet! I am going to be SUCH an emo mom! I hope I can stay home and watch them grow. Oh please, Jesus! :) Hehe.

  54. I’m a little confused . . . I distinctly remember reading one of your posts in which you said “welcome to my HELL” (your caps, not mine) and proceeded to write about your little girl and her terrible behavior. I feel a little sorry for these children if they have to stay at home with a mother who views them as her hell.

  55. Julie, I hope you can see that I have a sense of humor about some things (my so-called “HELL”), but this post happened to be straight from the heart and I was being completely honest and open about my true feelings and fears. Thanks for your feedback.

  56. Comments like that are what make women feel like they have to pretend to be perfect, even when they’re not. I’d like to meet one mother who has spent every day feeling like every moment of life was heavenly, without a single moment of, “argh I can’t do this right now!”. And if Julie without a website is that woman then she ought to write a book about being the happiest person in the universe. Yep. Sure you have to focus on the good to get through the rough days but sometimes it is ok to joke about “hell” moments. Any honest mother knew exactly what she meant by that post.

  57. Congratulations! You are going to absolutely love being at home with them and giving them all the love and attention they need. I just started staying at home with Josiah this month and am preparing for the next one due this May. Being at home with Josiah full time has given me so much more energy and happiness – Joseph has already noticed a huge change in my attitude and sees how great being a SAHM already is for us.

  58. lady, this post is amazing and i hope you feel nothing but proud for sharing your sincere feelings about such sensitive matters. thrilled for you that you’ll soon be a stay-at-home mama! i think your life with a newborn this time around will be amazingly different in a great way. and, for the record, people can be flat-out ridiculous sometimes. hey julie – let’s keep the hateful diatribe to ourselves, shall we? if a little sarcasm isn’t allowed from time to time in motherhood, then i feel we are all doomed. just because morgan once jokingly vented about her toddler’s frustrating behavior, isn’t cause to imply she’s a bad mother. would you tell someone in your everyday life that you feel sorry for their children having them as a mother, even over a serious infraction? i’d hope to think the answer is “definitely not.” don’t forget there’s an actual human with REAL feelings behind each blog post you read – we shouldn’t use the cloak of anonymity the internet provides to nitpick and lash out at others who are simply trying to share their stories & experiences in an honest way.

    xoxoxo!

  59. Julie – Here is a heartfelt post about honest struggles and that is really all you have to say? As Emily said, there is a real person with real feelings here. Would you say this to one of your friends? To their face? Then it isn’t appropriate to write it publicly on the Internet either.  And every mom has tough, hard, hellish days (Particularly with toddlers. Or teenagers.) That does not make them a bad mom. We all have our limitations of what we can handle sometimes. And it certainly does not mean you need to call a mom out on the Internet because life is tough sometimes. 

  60. Who writes a hateful, mean comment on such a brave, honest post? And in regards to your post about “your hell” — dude, that is obviously called HUMOR! Your readers love that you are real instead of saying “la la la, toddlers are always perfect little angels!”

    That anonymous person is obviously super jealous of you for being such a hot mama who is gorgeous, hilarious and genius crafty — not to mention a big o sweetheart! No joke — you are amazing, lady!

    Kudos to you for writing this post and speaking out about postpartum depression. According
    to wikipedia, studies show that up to 25 percent of women experience it. One in four! By writing about this
    I’m sure you made tons of other mamas feel way more normal. I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience
    last time. I hope that this time you get to have your special day go just like you hope it will and that after Jack’s birth you find the peace and joy that you need.

    So excited for you that you’ll be able to stay home with your babies, just like you’ve always wanted! Like you said — it’s so neat that you’ll be able to enjoy every day with Jack from the beginning! And you’ll get to be by Maddie’s side as she becomes a big sister!

    Love you!!!! xoxoxo

  61. Soooooo jealous :0(, just glad I get more time off with my kids as a teacher than I would at most other jobs. Also thankful that they are with my parents at least 2 of the days. Enjoy!

  62. I give you serious kudos for talking about this openly, because from what I hear so many women go through it and it’s not given the respect or attention it deserves. I’m very excited for you and all the extra time you’ll get to have with your babies :)

  63. I just want to crawl thru my laptop and give you a hug…my first “baby” is 22 years old now, and your post took me back to those post-birth days and return to work. Seven months later I sought a counselor’s help to get through the craziness of my professional and personal life. (Like you, I missed my son terribly, and felt emotionally shut-down just to deal with how hard it was.)Four years, nine months later my second child was born, and six weeks later I returned from maternity leave to find that our company was sold and my job was eliminated. I then suddenly became an at-home mom, and I got to do all the things with son #2 that I wasn’t able to do with my first. Son #1 is in grad school, and Son #2 is graduating from high school in June, and they are both wonderful young men, none the worse for wear given my not-always-perfect parenting. Sending my best wishes for the soon-to-be family of four, you’re going to love being a mom the second time around, your heart just seems to expand like the Grinch’s heart did in the cartoon, all the more love for the second precious little one.

  64. Morgan, you are going to be a great SAHM! I can’t wait for play dates with you and the little ones! PS…you rock for being honest about your post pardum struggles….it really helps moms to be to know that it’s ok to admit to needing help! Love yoU!

  65. Morgan! This is fantastic news! I admire your choice and hope it’s everything you hoped for. I’ve been home the better part of a decade and haven’t regretted it once. I just recently returned to work, part time, figuring that the youngest ones are in full time school and “society” says I should go back, so far I am drowning! Hats off to those women who do it, but like you, it’s just proving not to be for me or my family. I would expect to be a SAHM again by summer! Being a mom is something that each and everyone of us puts our own fingerprint on and we all contribute to the wide range of mothering “styles”. I think it’s priceless to find what works for you, be it working or staying at home and to shine in your roll! I think you’ll thrive in your new one!
    Blessings to you!

  66. Congrats, madam! I’m excited for you. Transitioning from a workaholic to a stay at home mom was hard for me, the work was just as consistant but there was never any ‘job done. job well done. job stays done!’ thing. Growing a large collection of hobbies helped tons. But you’re already crafty as heck so you’ll be maaaaahvelous, darling. Like you aren’t already. Like your picture isn’t already in the dictionary next to ‘maaaaahvelous’ (and also next to fakest as inventor of word, what whaaat!)

  67. Hi, I’m from germany and I wanted to know, what is the normal period of time staying at home whith a baby after birth? In germany young mothers are “allowed” to stay at home for one year and they get 65% of their income from state. After this time you can stay at home, of course, but one income often is not enough. The problem is, that no employer want to have young mothers or you have to work 50% only and so 40% of women an men are getting no childs. Never. (Short version ;-) If you stay at home other working moms backbite that “he” is earning very much. That’s a real f***** situation at all and germany will become extinct.
    I wish you the best and enjoy your time while you keep track of upgrowth childs.

  68. Just catching up on posts while Justin took Levi to the cafeteria. So glad you get to stay at home. Not gonna lie, it’s hard. REALLY HARD. Well for me at least it’s that hard. But maybe it’s just cause Levi’s got so much going on. I bet you’ll do great though. And even though it’s hard, I love being able to stay home and take care of both of my littles. Plus you’ve got the advantage of Maddie being a little older than Levi was when Rian came. As each month goes by he learns so many new things and it gets a tiny bit easier. :)

  69. I want you to know that everything you experienced is 100% normal!! I definitely struggled with PPD after the birth of Genevieve. Oh my gosh, did I ever. And the guilt that came along with that was almost too much to bear. There were days I would literally lock myself in my bedroom and cry. And I was super depressed and had no idea why. It’s a very lonely place to be. Because moms are supposed to be HAPPY and LOVE every minute of being a mom, right? So you paint on the fakey smile and hope no one notices that anything is wrong. Stinkin’ hormones. ;)

    I’m so happy you get to be home and enjoy your little babies! Great post, lady.

  70. I think it’s great you’re doing this. Being a stay at home mom is one of the most important jobs on earth! I think it’s wonderful you’ll be able to do this. Thank you for being so honest and showing that motherhood while absolutely amazing isn’t always easy, perfect or simple. oxoxo

  71. How exciting for you to be able to stay at home with your little ones! I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through such a difficult time when Maddie was born, but I know that you sharing this story will help someone, Ijust know it!

  72. I love the honesty that this post holds and even though it makes my heart sad that you had to endure such hard times, I know that other moms are reading this are nodding their heads in agreement b/c they may have gone through similar times and you writing about your experience makes them feel as though they aren’t alone. That’s major!
    I hope and pray that you have a totally different experience with Jack, right from the get go Morgan. You so deserve it Mama <3
    I am SO SO SO excited for you to be able to be a stay at home mom!! I miss those days at home with my babies so much, we had so much fun hanging out together and going on adventures…the time goes by so quickly and before I knew it, it was time for Isaiah to be in school! Circumstances changed and I had to return to work during the day when Malachi was 2 but I treasure the times that I had at home with them so very much. I just know you're going to be amazing with them, don't be nervous! <3 love you

  73. Congrats on being able to be a SAHM. I stay at home with my two girls (almost 2 and 5 months) and I love it. You will rock it with two babies at home :)

    BTW, I had a bit of a rough experience with my first daughter’s birth (unexpected c-section) that I had a hard time with for quite a while. My second daughter’s birth was exactly what I wanted it to be and I hope you will have a much better experience this time!!! Best wishes!

  74. Hi Morgan,

    I am a single stay at home mother the 4 girls under six, Scarlett 5, Tiffany, 3 and twins Lexi and Jennifer 2/12, I have been alone since just before the birth of my twin daughters two and a half years ago I understand your pain I went through a seperation two months before I gave birth and a divorce almost immeadtely after I was depressed, alone, misunderstood and mother to four young kids who could not fend for themselves or understand why mummy was so sad because we now have two more little girls to our girly pink packed family, I now have a blog which you can visit if you like its called: 24 Kraft Street visit it at: http://kraftstreet.blogspot.com

    Thank you for reading,
    Anniston

  75. i stumbled across your blog and i’m so glad did. you are just darling and i can tell you’re a wonderful mother. having the choice to stay home with your children is a blessing! i wish you the best with the arrival of your little one.

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