Basically, as a new mom I was unaware of how little kids are with their “movements”. Meaning, I didn’t realize how they thoroughly enjoy dumping anywhere and everywhere until my daughter did it in the tub one night. She acted like it was no big deal. To her, it was completely normal to let turds swirl around in the same water that was cleansing her body. And then you guys told some stories of your own tub pooping experiences and we all shared a few laughs and then barfed all over each other like all those people did in Problem Child 2 at the carnival. It was awesome.
Jack has made it through 16 months of keeping it in his diaper. I learned with Maddie not to be fooled by a child’s supposed “poop maturity”. Judging by the giggles of the grown man who lives with me, poop maturity is unattainable, even by age 30. Keeping this nugget of wisdom in mind, I’ve been watching Jack like a hawk and have done my best to avoid any shenanigans of the brown nature. I don’t just let him run around naked or squat behind couches or anything like that. That kind of freedom has to be earned, little man. I also happen to be the quickest diaper changer California has ever known. I knew it was just a matter of time though. Just a matter of time…
Bath time. Yeah. Maddie shrieked, “JACK POOPED IN THE TUB!” and then immediately went back to playing with her Ariel doll. Yes, she was in there with him and yes, she went right back to what she was doing, not a care in the world. This all goes back to what I was saying about her thinking it was completely normal to sit in poop water. Apparently it is also completely normal to sit in your little brother’s poop water.
I took out the kids and put them in the shower. Since Justin was dealing with them, I had no choice but to face my 50 Shades. With all the commotion of getting the kids out of the tub and then removing all 800 toys, the sloshing of the water became too much for this turd to handle, so it broke into 800 pieces. I, as the Scooper, had quite a job ahead of me.
Long story short (and because this is just getting entirely too disgusting, even for me), Jack did the same thing again 3 days later. And again, Maddie made the announcement and continued playing with her mermaids. Kids are sick.