Hi friends. We are friends, right? Who stand by each other through thick and thin? For better or worse? Even though one of us might be more than a little loco? Okay, remember that as you read on.
I’d like to introduce you to a very important part of my childhood.
I found it a few days ago in a box full of old keepsakes and miscellaneous junk. As soon as I caught a glimpse of that black and white splattered cover, ominously peeking out from beneath some photos, I let out a quiet gasp and whispered, “Oh no…”
You see, back in elementary school, I was a tad obsessed with the movie Harriet the Spy.
I remember sitting in the theater and wondering why I hadn’t come up with the idea spying on everyone. It was brilliant! Harriet was my hero. I took mental notes while watching it and knew immediately I wanted to have my own notebook to write down all the very important things my very silly 5th grade self discovered. I begged my mom to buy me this notebook as soon as we got out of the theater. I was a spy, called to action. This was my destiny.
I started by giving a warning to whoever might try to sneak a peek into my private notes.
Do you feel threatened yet? That kind of gave me some spine tingles.
Over the next hundred pages, stuff got real. This thing started filling up quick… there was just so much vital knowledge I had to document!
I even spied on my then-seven year old brother.
You obviously can’t read that crap because 11 year old me used pencils LIKE A CHILD. What kind of a crappy spy… anyway. Let me translate:
Daniel – I’m hiding in his closet, waiting for him to return to his room. He’s looking for me now.
He’s in his room, burping! GROSS! He’s talking to himself and singing “Wild Thing.”
(He’s still singing!)
He’s making squishy noises in his mouth. GROSS!!
Oh, no! He caught me!
CIA, if you’re looking for a new agent with exceptional sneaky skills, you know where to find me.
I’ve gone through the entire notebook and have chosen several more pages to share with you all. Unfortunately, my top secret Spice Girls files, my stalker-status shrine I dedicated to my 6th grade crush, “The Invention Zone” and multiple drawings of my Tamagotchi will have to wait until another day. Until then, here’s something for you, my dear BFF.
(You remembered you still love me right? Because things are about to get weirder.)