Raging and not raging at Starbucks

Feb
20th
2013

Something a little out of the ordinary happened yesterday that I wanted to share with you all. It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it had a big impact on me.

me maddie starbucks

It was 8:20 and I was still in bed. The kids slept in and I had no reason to get up, other than to try to make it to my 9:30 moms Bible study, whiiiich let’s just say I wasn’t really wanting to do. I had actually told myself the night before that I wasn’t going to go, simply because I was tired right at that moment. I mean, I had just watched 5 straight hours of Downton Abbey and it was late, yo. Totally valid excuse! I’m sure you’ve all had those times when you know you should get out of bed and start getting ready for that ‘thing’, but the bed! It’s just so warm! And I’m just too tired! And I’ll never make it on time because I’m late already so why even try! And the lame excuses! Just! Keep! Coming! It was TOTALLY one of those mornings. Whether it’s work/church/appointments/school… I’ve always been this way. Procrastinator to the core. I know very well I’m going to get up and get ready for ‘the thing’ and I will only make it harder on myself the longer I stay in bed, but IT’S JUST SO DANG COZY ONE MORE MINUTE WON’T HURT I MEAN 10 MORE MINUTES WON’T HURT, RIGHT?

I got out of bed. The kids woke up and we all were fed, dressed and out the door in record time. This never happens. I did my usual “I’m late, but there’s still time for Starbuuuucks!” run because obviously I have priorities.

Some of you might remember my road rage post from last year. Well, the Starbucks over by my house attracts the most interesting people and never fails to provide unique and memorable experiences (or, weird and slightly terrifying experiences). Yesterday was no different. I was in the drive-thru, and if you can imagine this, there’s no physical barrier for the line. It’s surrounded by painted parking spots and people push their way into the line ALL the time. It drives me nuts! They will flat out cut in front of you and act like nothing’s strange or rude about it at all.

Yesterday, that happened. I was about to scoot up and a woman sped in front of me with the foulest expression on her face. Out of habit, my arm flew up in a “HELLOOO??!” gesture, but I stopped mid-flail and realized something. I didn’t feel angry. The arm came down. You guys know I’m almost always raging about something, but not this time. In fact, in that moment of clarity, I realized that she had been sitting in line when I drove up, and though she was not in the ‘correct’ line, she had still been there before me.

So this is the weird part. I said to my kids, “I’ll be right back, everything’s okay!” and I stepped out of my car. I calmly walked up to this scowling woman’s car and tapped on her window. (WUT. Do I have a death wish?!) She opened her door and harshly said, “Can I help you with something?”

I responded, “Oh no… I just wanted to apologize for cutting you off back there. I didn’t realize you were waiting in line before me and didn’t want you to think I was trying to jump in front of you on purpose.”

Her reaction? Tears in her eyes. She completely softened and that scowl on her face just melted away. Her face didn’t melt away… I might’ve explained that wrong, but you get what I’m saying. She said, “Thank you for saying that. I really thought you were trying to go in front of me.”

I said, “I just wanted to make it right with you before you drove away. Have a good day!” And she said, “You too.”

Now this is the part where I get a little deep and tell you what that meant for me. Some people would call me crazy for leaving my kids in the car and walking up to a complete stranger who was VERY angry with me, but I can’t say I regret it. Would I do it again? Well, if I had time to think things through, I would have probably come up with one of my famous excuses not have done a thing. Like, “She was the wrong one…You were in the real line… you don’t owe her anything but your middle finger” or “Don’t leave your kids in a car alone in a parking lot” (to be honest, they were only 10 feet away from me, but still… I wouldn’t have done any of this under normal circumstances). The woman would have driven out of that parking lot hating me for life and I would have probably been angry with her for quite a while as well.

I went on to my moms group. Our leader didn’t actually have any scripture for our lesson, she just talked about some things that were on her heart. One of the things she said went along perfectly with my Starbucks experience, like how we should not being so quick to judge others when we don’t have the full story or know what hardships they may be going through in their own lives. THAT. I ALWAYS do that. I struggle with feeling proud and entitled and angry when someone thinks I’m in the wrong, but I don’t often stop and think about where they’re coming from. So I was about to go off on this lady and — you all know I’m a Christian by now, so I feel completely comfortable saying this — God totally intervened. Those tears could have been anything — embarrassment, the wind in her eyes, relief… it’s not for me to say — I am just glad things were made right with her. One of those non-resolutions I’ve been working on is my anger and entitlement, so I view that crazy, out of character thing I did yesterday as a total victory. That wasn’t me. There’s no way I would have done that on my own. Shoot, I didn’t even want to get out of bed that morning because I’m lazy and entitled and imperfect in every way!

I’m being worked on. Changed for the better. I’m so excited about that.

31 Comments Thus Far

  1. One of my favorite blog entries of yours so far. Love it. I’ve been trying to do the same in a lot of different areas in my life.

  2. Love it. Those little things can make all the difference in the world, not just to others, but to ourselves. Not to get all crazy religious sounding, but I grew up in a Christian home (my step-dad was a minister) and up until my teens went to church regularly. I haven’t gone probably in about thirteen years (my gosh I’m getting old!), but the other day, I got a flier in the mail for a local church. I have no idea why, but I keep getting these strong urges to go on Sunday mornings. My SO might look at me strangely and I might feel totally out of place and awkward there, but maybe I really should listen and go sometime.

  3. I love this post & you so much! :)

  4. Mea: Thank you. If you feel the pull to go check out the church, do it, lady! Those little ‘tugs’ can’t be ignored sometimes, no matter how hard we try! :)

  5. I feel like a proud mummy, hahaaa! Sometimes, we have to stop and listen to that still, small voice…..when we do, we have wonderful moments like this…..you’re on the right road, hun. x

  6. i love this, Morgan. SO glad you shared. God is good, isn’t He?? It makes me so thankful to think on His daily graces, from the little to the big things, and the way He works in us, sometimes without us even realizing it until a moment such as this. :)

    love you, friend!

  7. Isn’t it great when God has someone/thing “cut us off” and we take a second to see it for more than face value?! (It’s times like that when I can’t figure out how anyone doesn’t believe in Him.)
    And if I may – I think those tears were relief, from being crossed by one kind soul in a sea of thousands who would have flipped her the bird.
    Thanks for sharing – very encouraging! :)

  8. I LOVE THIS. The morning…the growth…the change…the Jesus Moments. And you.

  9. :)

  10. proud of you!

    annnnnnd. how had did you get on DA?

  11. Davi, FINISHED IT. :(

  12. i meant how far did you get on DA?

  13. i’m mourning.

  14. I relate this to me not going off on the McDonalds lady this morning (I know you know what I mean). In all seriousness, I agree with others who say this is their favorite post of yours. It warms my heart parts and reminds me of my own goal to be a better, more compassoonate person.

  15. Or…compassionate.

  16. Ohmorgoodness I loved this! And woman you are bolder than bold and can we be online and real life best friends? Berceuse you are the coolest. #christian4lyfez #jkimmormon #itsbasicallythesamething #noideawhatimtalkingabout #ilovestarbucks

  17. I love your blog. And I love this post. It gave me little chills. Thank you so much for sharing this experience. You’re wonderful!

  18. Awesome post, so inspiring! And I love that you’re so open that you’re a Christian, that doesn’t happen all that often anymore!

  19. Great story! Totally saw it going the other way around…but happy it worked out for you! Hey, i follow you on IG and would love to see you post pics of your hair! I really love the highlights and i’m considering doing it! Ahh.

  20. Wow! This is very inspiring, encouraging and just downright awesome!

  21. I don’t think there’s anything crazy about what you did. If it had been a large angry man instead I might have recommended staying in your vehicle, haha, but you probably made that woman’s entire week with your honesty and humility. That’s a great example to set for your kids :)

  22. Can this be my non-resolution too? Because oh dang do I have rage issues!

  23. SO awesome!!! :)

  24. Wow. I can only imagine what that woman thought as she saw you coming up to her car. It takes a really big person to tell a perfect stranger that they are sorry for making a mistake. We all make mistakes. We are human. But taking that moment to apologize, that is what makes us better people. It shows others that we think of them too. I’m not sure if I could have walked up to someone in a car like that. That was really brave. I hope that you enjoyed your coffee that day knowing that you had totally taken both you & someone else from being angry to feeling like things are in a good place.

  25. What a great post, and a great message. And I’m glad you don’t live in the hood or I would have been reallllly worried about how this story ended.

    Well done girl. Sometimes we just have to think beyond ourselves. ox

  26. this was awesome and perfect, thanks for sharing!

  27. Awesome story. I love those moments when I do something totally out of character for me and I realize it is all Jesus working in my heart. God is so good. Thanks so much for sharing and blessing others.
    God bless!
    -Suzana

  28. What a great start to your day and a great example for your kids. Thanks for sharing.

  29. Oh Morgan. You go girl.
    It takes great courage to act ‘against the grain’, doesn’t it. What a joyful result…
    Seriously, lady…you are such breath of fresh air. I feel so lucky to have found you, your lovely lil’ fam and your darling delightspot of a blog. As a former Christian… (if there is such a thing. I don’t know! The brand of Churchianity I was exposed to just sucked beyond belief, and drained the life out of me)…anyway, what I’m trying to say is, my faith in Christians has been revived a little by you. After years of legalistic yuk-ness and being surrounded by people wearing these carefully-crafted facades…it feels really great to have discovered one Christian person who, from her stories and anecdotes, seems entirely ‘real’ and down to earth. I wish I’d found girls like you in church to hang out with, be honest about life with and to have a well-needed laugh session with.
    Thank you for being so refreshingly real and beautifully honest!! Love to y’all. Léa from Australia Xox

  30. Just the reminder I needed to hear ;)

  31. wow, so beautiful.
    Seriously, that is exactly what the world needs more of. I’m glad you were able to listen to the intervention
    Well done.