Chapter 27: Woman Under Construction

Jul
01st
2013

hello july

If my life were a book and each year had it’s own chapter, this year’s title would be Woman under Construction. I thought it had a nicer ring to it than “Unstable Girl is Figuring out How Not To Be a Raging Hot Mess”, but honestly, that’s a liiiiiittle more accurate.

Real talk here: I do not like the person I have been. I am not proud of her and sometimes I wish I had the ability to send my hand back through time and give her forehead a nice little flick. She definitely could have used some wisdom in her morning lattes (one pump of vanilla flavored wisdom, please), BUT she is part of my story.

If you were to read back through the archives of Mrs. Priss, you can sort of see what I’m talking about. My writing reflects my heart and whether I wanted to share it or not, I couldn’t truly hide what was going on in there. Sometimes it was subtle, but you can understand some pretty deep things about me if you pay attention. My tone, where I focus my attention, how I spend my money, how ragey I can be, how easily hurt I can get over DUMB stuff… I’ve seriously been all over the place. (REALLY? OH WE DIDN’T NOTICE THAT, MORGAN). Yeah, who, me?? All over the place!?

This blog has sort of told my story through my heart’s voice and I’m kind of glad to have that documented, as unstable as it might have been.

When you’re standing on a construction site, things appear to be in chaos. There are piles of debris everywhere, dust clouding the air and it’s annoyingly loud. Sometimes, it takes a really long time for the project to be complete because it has to be done right. For anyone who hasn’t seen the building plans, it’s hard to picture what the outcome is going to be, but for the person who has the plans laying on his desk? Ain’t no thang.

(That’s my oh-so-subtle way of telling you that God is in control of these crazy/awesome changes that have been going on.)

The fact that I’ve been quiet lately means something big. While it may seem like I’ve been doing a whole lotta nothin’, some seriously amazing stuff has been happening. I have been under major construction. It’s been messy and loud and painful to be rebuilt, but the dust is starting to clear and it’s really exciting.

Vague? Yes, for now. Just be encouraged. Because if someone like me, coming from the sad, angry, confused and fearful place I was living in can be as joyful, fulfilled, mostly rage-free (still learning!) and just plain HAPPY with her simple life? Then there’s MAJOR hope for everyone else. ;)

Romans 12:2

19 Comments Thus Far

  1. I have felt similarly in the past several months. Happy for you and whatever good things you have going on :)

  2. Must be something in the water. I have kinda been the same way for the past year… I was in a pretty dark place this time last year, and things are just now starting to look up for me. I started my own blog a few days ago in hopes that sharing my cooking with others would help even more than it already has in improving my mood and crud so to speak. I hope everything works out just the way you want it to, and glad to see you are back (even just a little post ;)

  3. There are few people I love more than you. Go girl!

  4. I feel like my daughters name is a testimony and reminder in learning as a woman how to have just that: Grace. I too have been dealing with a lot of emotions in the negative, but we can learn and grow from those emotions sometimes more than the ladder. And sometimes just when we feel like giving up, that’s where it counts the most :) your a beautiful woman and a blessing to many. :)

  5. Morgs this post makes me so very happy and I can’t wait to talk to you more about it when I get home in about a month. Love you so so much!

  6. Hey girl. This post warms me to my toes. I’m smiling so BIG right now. I know God is going to use you in AMAZING ways. So proud of you for sharing your real heart. Much love. xxoo

  7. I love you and so proud to call you my cousin. You are not alone in your thoughts, fears, or insecurities. I am right there with you, trust. I just wish I had the same level of maturity amd self-awareness you have when I was your age. I am barely starting on my journey of self-awerness, and boy is it tough! Learn who you are now, but remeber that you will spend your whole life “under construction”.

    Cynthia Mencarelli
    on July 1st, 2013 at 11:04 pm
  8. I love you so much and this post made me smile and stirred up something in my soul! God is so good and to see him working so powerfully in the lives of people I love dearly is not only amazing & inspiring but also a near tangible reminder for me of how much He loves and truly cares for us. :) Proud of you for sharing your heart, I know you’re encouraging so many ladies out there (me being one of them!)
    xo

  9. Same here. On top of it, just had a baby so I’m drowning in all those emotions too.

    It doesn’t help that my best friend since I was twelve has been totally absent for over a year and just moved to LA, so I really don’t have anyone other than the hubs to talk to..and he doesn’t quite get it.

    Praying for you, me and all the ladies in the comments above that are under construction too.

  10. This makes me so happy.

  11. I’ve read your blog for a few years now…LOVE your heart (always have!), your smarts, your humor, your craftiness, your vegan-ness, and now your Christian-ness! Amazing!
    I’m a homeschooling Mama of 6 (ages 17 on down to 3 year old identical twin girls) and your words have always brought me such laughter! Proud to call you Sister. xoxo

    Shannon Hawkyard
    on July 2nd, 2013 at 1:43 pm
  12. Loved this post! I’ve followed your blog on and off for a couple of years, whenever I have time. It was actually one of the first blogs I started reading on a regular basis ( b/c I thought you were so cute and funny)and is one of the only non design blogs I try to keep up with. It’s definitely part of the reason I started my own blog. I’m so pleased to hear about your “construction”! Very exciting! All the best with your journey :)

  13. Others have already said it too – but love this post and LOVE seeing a glimpse of how God is working in you right now. He has such a perfect way and it’s beyond neat when a piece of it surfaces in our own lives. Happy to hear from you and look forward to hearing more! :)

  14. I am always encouraged when I hear a testimony of God’s unconditional love and a building under construction is a wonderful example of His promise that He will complete the work that He started (Phil. 1:6).
    I’m looking forward to reading the next chapter ;)

    Elizabeth Elliot use to start her program with:
    “He loves us with an everlasting love and underneath are His everlasting arms.”

    Love you~Aunt Verda Mae

  15. We’re all under construction, my dear. Look back through my blog and you will find the same. We Orthodox call this process Theosis, or sanctification. :)

  16. Oh what a gift self discovery is and the ability to construct who we are is

  17. This is so perfectly written.

  18. I have been there so many times. I feel like I’m kind of always there, actually. I’m excited for you.

  19. Wow, I haven’t been to your blog in quite awhile (and never have commented) but I have the biggest smile on my face. I’m thanking God for this post, and you sharing what is on your (new) heart. Praise Him! :) <3 Keep your eyes on Jesus, He will guide and lead you to who you are in Him. I'm doing the same, it is an amazing process. God bless :)