It’s scary at first, to let yourself hope for bigger, better, different things. “What if I believe for something that doesn’t happen?” I would think, fearfully. “I don’t think I could handle that kind of a let down. That kind of failure.” For me, this is has especially hit me in the area of spiritual things. I think we can be afraid to hope for something more or outside our comfort zone because if it doesn’t happen, then we’ll be shaken up, not sure what to believe, not sure of God, not sure of anything we’ve invested in.
“If it doesn’t happen, then what will I believe?”
I’ve been there. I’ve seen every stage — I’ve believed for things in my heart, in secret, that didn’t happen. I’ve believed for things God has shown me, told people these things were going to happen and they still haven’t happened. I’ve believed for many things that HAVE happened. And man, I’ve been so ‘off’ on some stuff in front of so many people that I was ready to move to Canada to hide from the embarrassment. Those kinds of things can mess. you. up… if you let them.
I’m not going to get it right every time, but experiencing those little let downs, a little embarrassment here and there hasn’t made me give up, walk away or lose sight of the good things God has ahead for me. Actually, I’ve learned even MORE about who He really is in the process of messing up and getting things wrong at times than if I would have stayed in that safe zone, not stretching myself, not believing there was more. My foundation is stronger, even after missing it and having my wrong thinking exposed. Because I learned it wasn’t God who disappeared on me and it wasn’t Him who let me down. And it surely wasn’t God who got it wrong. It was me. And that’s alright, I’m not perfect!
One time I saw this picture of the ocean and the water was so deep you couldn’t see the bottom. Sharks were circling at the surface, giving you the fear you could never swim. Then the picture grew, stretched, started taking you down into the depths to the places you couldn’t see before, down just past the sharks. It stopped at the floor of the ocean, where this huge, unlimited expanse of treasure was spread out as far as you could see. You’d never know it was down there if you didn’t dive in. THAT is what I’m going for. I’m done hanging out at the surface!
I still hate sharks though, let’s be real. I’m jumping in, armed with the right weapons.
A few of my current dreams:
- I’m dreaming for even more mending and growth in my relationships. And for new ones to begin!
- I’m dreaming for greater favor in the marketplace as I step back in and reopen my Etsy shop.
- I’m dreaming to own my own coffee shop. :D
- I’m dreaming for a sweet, fulfilling, secure future for my family.
Where I am is good, and better than where I’ve been, but I still have a lot of treasure waiting for me down there and you bess believe I’m going after it.