Mrs. Priss

Half the pregnancy updates I read say the third trimester starts this week and the rest say next week… but let’s just ignore that last half and make me a happy girl — I’m in the third trimester! What’s jumping ahead a week going to hurt, right?  Right.

BAM! Belly! And my favorite maternity jeans, if you haven't noticed yet.

Friends, this is a terribly sad day in the life of the girl you see above.  That smile?  It was forced and completely insincere.  The apocalypse is upon us… I have my first stretch mark.

It’s actually really light and small, on my lower belly… BUT IT’S STILL THERE!  And oh, how it taunts me.

The little devil reared it’s ugly, squiggly head last night.  As soon as I noticed it, I let out a very loud and panicked “NOOOOOOOOO!” and ran straight to the bathroom cabinet where I kept the unused tube of stretch mark lotion.  I was determined never to need it, but let me tell you something… I don’t care if it works or not, this stuff is my only hope.  I slathered it on like nobody’s business, saying a silent prayer and shedding one, glistening tear while doing so, no less than 3 times today already.

I am so not the “embrace your beautiful new pregnant body because you’re creating a miracle” type. I loved my cute, flat stomach and will be mourning it’s death until the magic of breastfeeding and Pilates bring it back to me.  Amen and amen.

I was sitting here at my desk (where I do most of my blogging, being the dedicated employee that I am), drinking my coffee and eating some breakfast when I came to this realization… I am pretty much addicted to all things vanilla.  Let me give you a run-down of my morning:

• Washed up with Philosophy’s Vanilla Birthday Cake in the shower

• Rubbed on a few big globs of Victoria’s Secret Vanilla Lace lotion

• Grabbed a vanilla flavored Dannon Activia yogurt from the fridge for a mid-morning snack

• Picked up my daily soy vanilla latte from Starbucks (and 3 Petite Vanilla Scones, just for kicks)

Are we noticing a trend here?  And now that I think about it, whenever I have a choice between chocolate or vanilla frosting, I pick vanilla.  I won’t even start with the flavored lip glosses or the amount of scented candles I have around the apartment!

I really hope it’s a good thing to smell like a cookie.

Am I the only one that finds the new Hanes No Ride Up panties hilarious and a bit ridiculous?  Is “Be Wedgie Free!” the classiest slogan they could come up with?

When I saw the commercial for these a few minutes ago, I about died laughing.  All the different women wiggling around, trying to de-wedge themselves… I don’t know.  Maybe it’s just me.

As a way of celebrating Justin’s company getting a snazzy new office, the two of us decided to go on a date last night. In keeping with Justin’s our new frugal mindset, we figured cheap was the way to go.

Since we don’t have a printer at home, we ran over to my parent’s house to print out Jamba Juice’s Buy One, Get One Free coupon that I had linked to a few weeks ago. Being the genius that I am, I didn’t realize it had expired in July. Flop #1.

We sped over to Jamba Juice anyway, being that two smoothies aren’t really all that expensive, and picked ourselves up a Citrus Squeeze (Justin’s favorite) and my first true love, a Strawberry Surf Rider with a calcium boost for my baby’s bones. I made sure sure sure to tell the girl at the counter to put the boost only in mine because Justin’s would go ape-crap crazy if he ended up with the ‘chalk’ in his. What did they do? Put the calcium boost in his Citrus Squeeze. Flop #2.

He was not amused.

We did manage to get into a very inexpensive movie, Iron Man, that was showing at one of the old theaters in town. I seriously love this place! They renovated a bit and now show month old movies for $3.00 a ticket. I shoved our smoothies in my purse and smuggled them on in. Success!

Cheeeeeeeese

Once in the theater, we couldn’t help but notice a trend. We happened to be among the four people that weren’t over 50, carrying a lifetime supply of candy in loud, plastic grocery bags, making out (remember the age group we’re dealing with here), and fall into the category of… Ohh, what’s the opposite of black-treasure again? Yeah. At one point, Justin turned around and said, “PLEASE, SHUT UP!” to the grocery bag lady, which was really nice and not embarrassing at all. We take our $3.00 movies very seriously, people.

The movie was pretty awesome, once I was able to block out the older couple to my right who could not keep their hands off each other. Cooties… gross.

I would say our attempt at a cheap date failed (considering I was starving and ended up spending $5.00 on popcorn and even more at Taco Bell later), but Justin and I were able to get a good laugh about how absolutely ridiculous it was afterward.

A movie at an old theater, chalky smoothies and a whole lot of white trash isn’t necessarily the recipe for a perfect date, but it sure was interesting!

There is not much to report, other than the fact that this girl is an absolute wiggle worm.  I never get tired of watching my belly jump though… and it’s sort of becoming an issue.  The other day she kicked me hard while I was sitting at the front desk at work, so I lifted up my shirt to see if I could catch her in the act (I know, super classy), and the mailman walked in.  AWKWARD.