Dec
19th
2011
Please prepare for Ranty McRanterson III to take the stage.
Dudes. I’m tired. So so so so so so x infinity tired. Maddie has decided to defy the laws of toddler nature and stop sleeping. Like, ever. She has made a habit of waking up at the crack of dawn and won’t fall asleep until at least 11 at night. She won’t stay in her bed, either. It’s a 3 hour struggle, putting her back in her bed over and over while trying to keep her quiet so she doesn’t wake up Jack.
Naps are a distant memory I cling to with fondness and a single glistening tear. I honestly don’t know how she functions on this little sleep because I’m like a zombie. I basically follow her around all day in a haze, drooling and groaning unintelligible sounds while she spins around me like a tasmanian devil, demanding more Mac & Cheese every hour. The energy! It’s KILLING ME. And on top of it all, my DVR runneth over because I have no time to catch up on shows. This is getting serious here.
With that said, I’ve been trying to find ways to tire her out more. I make it a point to get out of the apartment every day, but I need something EXTREME. I’m looking for fatigue-inducing activities here. We do parks. We do the occasional TumbleAmerica thing. We dance around to Pitbull. What do you guys do with your energetic little ones?
P.S. I wanted a picture of me looking like a zombie and found MakeMeZombie.com. This is quite possibly the most disturbing thing of my life:
At least I’m smiling while I eat brains.
Categories: Me Being a Mom Personal
Dec
07th
2011
Since day 1, I’ve been convinced that Jack is just Justin trapped in a fat little baby’s body. The two of them share so many similarities in personality, facial features, expression and emotion, it’s a little scary.
I recently had a chance to look through some of Justin’s old baby photos and I couldn’t stop laughing…
Jack is basically Justin, with a few less shooting stars and a slightly larger head. That’s a virtual planetoid! (So I Married an Axe Murderer, anyone?? We use HEED jokes a lot around here.) When I thought of how to write this post, I originally just wanted to share a few photos to prove how much they look alike, but then I started thinking about all their odd little quirks.
I’ve said it before, but Jack is the most easygoing baby I know. The only time he gets upset is when 1) You make him stop playing with the Xbox controller or 2) You don’t feed him quickly enough. You think I’m joking, but the kid will choose to sit there and push the power button on and off for an hour rather than play with any of his toys. Anyway, when deprived of food or Xbox controllers, a level of agitation is reached where there is nothing you can do to save the situation. He will whine, hurl his enormous fat body backwards and swing his angry fists forever, if you let him. I’ve learned to just quickly feed him and put him to bed, where he whimpers for exactly 20 seconds and then falls asleep. I imagine what he would be saying if those whimpers were translated into actual words and sometimes I mock Jack to his face like any good mom would do. But MOM, I’m STAAARVIIIING! This screaming fit is necessary to make you UNDERSTAAAAAND! If I don’t get those deliciously mushy sweet potatoes right this second, I’m going to pass out and die, then pass out again!
Now let’s take a look at Justin. Pretty easygoing guy. His hobbies include playing Xbox and eating a good meal. He doesn’t become upset too often, except when 1) You make him stop playing Xbox or 2) You don’t feed him quickly enough. Hmm, INTERESTING. This produces a similar reaction to Jack’s, but I’m not the one narrating the doomsday outlook in a mocking tone. Justin handles it on his own. Morgan, I’m serious. I’m going to die, then pass out, then die again if I don’t eat something right now. Let’s go to Chili’s.
When Maddie notices that one of the boys is having an issue, she’ll either come to me and whisper in a knowing voice, “Mom, he’s being grumpy” or she’ll go get them a snack. Such a little mama and exactly like me in every way, but that’s another novel of a post.
Summary: My boys have big heads and are passionate about eating, but Maddie and I can handle it.
Categories: Me Being a Mom Personal
Dec
06th
2011
Our Christmas gift from my parents was a trip to Disneyland! Of the 20 or so times I’ve been there, this one was the most special by far. Kids just make it better.
Categories: Me Being a Mom Personal Things I'm Loving
Nov
30th
2011
In honor of this grand occasion, we will ask Her Royal Highness to answer 20 questions about her favorite things.
We’ll see how this goes…
- What is your favorite color? Purple
- What is your favorite toy? Elephant (She doesn’t own an elephant, just to be clear.)
- What is your favorite fruit? Oranges
- What is your favorite tv show? Gabba
- What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Mac and Cheese
- What is your favorite outfit? My church clothes (dresses & such)
- What is your favorite game? The shooting game (another iPad game, similar to Halo. I know, we’re bad parents.)
- What is your favorite snack? Fruit snacks
- What is your favorite animal? Lions
- What is your favorite song? Jesus Loves Me
- What is your favorite book? Cinderella
- Who is your best friend? My Cinderella (Apparently they’re close.)
- What is your favorite cereal? Tootie Fruities
- What is your favorite thing to do outside? “How ‘bouuuuuut… to go outside & color with chalk.”
- What is your favorite drink? Juice
- What is your favorite holiday? Cinderella (???)
- What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Cara blanket & Moose (Teacher Cara made her a blanket that she loves)
- What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Oatmeal
- What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Popcorn
- What do you want to be when you grow up? A lion
Categories: Me Being a Mom Personal
Nov
11th
2011
I have a slight obsession with journals, notebooks and diaries. If I’m out shopping and happen to see one with even a semi-cute cover, I snatch it up like it’s going outta style.
There’s something fun about the prospect of filling each page with all my thoughts and being able to look back and read it as I grow older. I always imagine sitting down on a bench in a charming little park and being inspired to write all this cool intellectual stuff and being all poetic and deep-thinkerish. And then 60 years down the road, my grandchildren will find a dusty old stack of books up in the attic and curiously open them, read them cover to cover, stopping only to wipe the glistening tears from their eyes as they realize what an amazing woman their grandmother was and how their grandpa should have helped her dust the apartment and let her buy more shoes because she really really wanted that pink pair from J. Crew and she deserved them for all the whiny crap she put up with, dang it.
That’s what I imagine every time I purchase a new one. I have some meaningful goals in life.
The truth is that when my new journal and I come home from the store, we have great intentions, but aren’t usually able to have our long chat at the park for quite a while. One day when there’s a quiet moment, I’ll realize, “Hey, I haven’t sat down to write with an actual pen in months! This is going to be fun!” Then I find a good pen that writes smoothly, sit down with a latte and practice signing my name in cursive for 3 pages.
When that gets old, I doodle a little.
Morgan + Justin = true ♥ 4 eva
I ♥ J.G.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Then I’ll perfect my generic 5 petaled flower, draw an intricate cluster of moons and stars and maybe play a game of MASH or two.
I was never a very good doodler.
Next page is usually the grocery list. Then my to-do list for the week. Slowly, but surely, I warm myself up to writing a true, honest-to-goodness sentence.
Somewhere in the middle of the book, I’ll open to a clean page and begin to really write. “I bought this new notebook in an attempt to document my thoughts and feelings and hopefully keep myself a bit sane. Here goes…”
- Recent, life-changing events: “I had two babies! They’re awesome.”
- Smaller events and confessions: Justin and I went on a date last night and I ate way too much and am still really bloated. It’s gross.”
- Large and quite vague personal goals: “I need to do something meaningful with my life.”
- Deeper, more specific goals: “After this, I’m taking all my clothes to Goodwill and then I’ll do 30 push-ups. Any maybe I’ll stop saying holy crap so much.”
- General Realizations: “There’s not enough time in the day to get everything done.”
- Detailed, passive-aggressive realizations that morph into extremely emotional, aggressive ranting: “Our friends are coming over at 6:00 tonight and I still haven’t cleaned this disgusting place. If only I had just a liiiiiittle help from someone I’m married to. Gah, I don’t get any help around this place. No one appreciates me. I should just stop worrying about it because nothing’s ever going to change. Not to mention, this place is tiny and cramped and small there’s no room to breathe with all this junk piled everywhere and no one helps me clean it! NO ROOM TO BREATHE. CAN’T BREATHE. GASPING. Holy crap, I’m stressed. All I want are a pair of pink heels from J. Crew and someone to help me dust all my crap every once in a while. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?”
Without fail, I become terrified that another pair of eyes might see these crazy rantings. In order to fix their perception of me, I’ll end the entry with something like, “but I’m just PMS-ing or something, haha! I’m usually very chipper and happy, go ask anyone! No really, go ask.”
I close the journal and hide it in a place where no one will be able find it. If one day, my grandchildren happen upon a box of old dusty notebooks, they’re going to think I was one insane woman with some jacked up personality disorder and an unhealthy pink shoe fetish. But at least I ♥’d their grandpa, even if he didn’t help me dust the living room.
Categories: Me Being a Mom Me Being Crazy Personal
