Mrs. Priss

I’m really not that hairy, I promise.

The other night, I realized my girlstache was getting out of control and decided it was time to fix that mess. Now, here’s a little background info for all of you who haven’t had the opportunity to peek under my bathroom sink… it’s like a hair-removal CIRCUS under there. I have super magnifying mirrors, razors, waxes, strips, creams, tweezers, gels, and about 5 different types of post-removal lotions to restore moisture and calm skin irritation. Pro.

Back to the other night. My method of choice was this cream you spread on the hair, let sit for 8 minutes, then wipe off. Easy peasy and PAINLESS because… wimp. I’m all about the comfort these days. Also, after just having a conversation with my sisters in law about getting a pimple mustache after a lip wax, I was too scarred and terrified to attempt it.

Seriously, doesn’t that scare you just thinking about it? A mustache of pimples?! THE HORROR.

So, I busted out a tube of this nice, non-pimple causing lotiony stuff and put it on my lip. Hmmm… I thought, that spot’s a tad fuzzy too. Let’s just add a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle more. Aaaaand, let’s deal with these sideburns… waitwaitwait, dab a little between the eyebrows. Ahh, better. And this went on until I basically covered my entire face in this white lotion.

Quite pleased with myself, I pranced out into the living room, right past Justin, and into the kitchen to grab a snack while I waited for the stuff to take effect. At one point, he looked up at me and raised his eyebrows, then turned back to what he was watching on tv. It didn’t even phase him. That’s love, right there. Or maybe he’s just used to my weirdness, I can’t be sure.

This had me thinking though…  I am totally private about certain things like going to the bathroom, but completely open about others, like the mustache thing. Are all couples as open about silly things like this as we are? Or would you absolutely DIE if your husband saw you waxing your upper lip?

Categories: Me Being Crazy 34 Comments Thus Far

He likes pancakes.

While watching some show on HGTV.

Justin: That girl has has stub arms.

Me: That’s mean! But she sort of does. Her butt is cute though… unlike my pancake. *sobs*

Justin: hrrmmfphmm…

Me: What was that?

Justin: …

Me: Umm, are you agreeing with me? I know what that silence means! You’re supposed to tell me I have a cute butt no matter state it’s in! I tell you you’re cute even though you crunch your cereal too loud and eat spaghetti like Maddie does… this is part of your job!

Justin: I like pancakes.

Me: *dagger eyes*

Justin: What? We weren’t talking about food?

Tags: pancake butt gives me sads Categories: Me Being Crazy Me Getting Skinny 15 Comments Thus Far

Things that aren’t supposed to give me happies, but most definitely do because I’m just freaking weird.

I have issues with cameras. We reaaaaally don’t get along. If cameras were alive and had heart beats and such, I would push them all of a cliff to their deaths and probably enjoy it.

There was a batch of pictures I had developed when Justin and I first started dating, and something about them made me angry. So angry, in fact, that I took a pair of scissors to them…

Hint: it was my face. 

There’s a whole roll like this, each one with my face cut out… Yes, the very first pictures my husband and I ever took together. Our first memories together. THIS IS HOW SERIOUS I AM ABOUT UGLY PICTURES.

That being said, the following photos are all sorts of hideous and should be making me barf all over the computer screen, but they don’t. I actually am sort of in love with them because they totally capture the essence of mine and these girls’ friendship — mutual awkwardness/hilarity.  Oh, how I love them (we missed you, Steph)!

I get bored/annoyed when people post too many pictures of the same thing that only they think is hilarious, so I’ll only put up a few.

Me/Jagger/Tranny, Sarah, Jimaie, Alyssa

We made them sag and weren’t too sure about the results.

Anime?

Jimaie be mean muggin’

Tags: ugly Categories: Me Being Crazy Personal Things I'm Loving 8 Comments Thus Far

On my love of spam comments

Sooooo, I occasionally approve spam comments if they sound semi-legit and/or boost my ego in some way. There, I said it.

I actually don’t think it’s all that weird and I bet most of you haven’t even noticed the fakies who are living amongst your very real comments, but someone (Justin.) recently informed me that it is lame and my spam approvals need to stop.

Okay, in my defense, let me just say that some of these are just too sweet and heart melty to deny. Let me introduce you to Dating Guru. He has won my heart many times over with his thoughtful words, and is my current favorite person in the universe.

Isn’t he the sweetest? He gave me an A for having a great blog (I assume that’s what that means), and he even prays to be like me. Prays. HOW CAN YOU DENY A COMMENT LIKE THAT? I truly believe that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Also, he looks like this:

Dating Guru is REAL, is in love with me, and I will continue to approve his comments.

That is all.

Categories: Me Being Crazy Personal Things I'm Loving 19 Comments Thus Far

What I should have learned from Jessie Spano

I wasn’t quite old enough to watch Saved by the Bell during it’s original run and instead caught all the reruns on TBS. I watched, I studied, I connected. Okay, not really. Even 10 year old me realized how ridiculous some of the messages were, especially when it came to miss perfectionist, Jessie Spano. That girl was ca-ra-zay.

Remember when Jessie was studying for the SATs and started popping those little red caffeine pills so she could stay up all night and get a better score? Then she ended up missing her girl band’s big debut at The Max? Then Screech stood in for her and we were all, No. This is a girl band, you do not belong here?

Then you also might remember how that episode was laden with thong leotards, cheesy song lyrics and one very unnecessary freak-out, courtesy of Miss Perfect.

Please enable Javascript to view the flash movie.

I never truly understood how the caffeine pills caused her to freak out like she was on crack. Little me was watching and going, “Umm. It’s just caffeine. Grow a pair.” That was Mistake #1: Never, ever question Saved by the Bell’s teachings.

It wasn’t until I tried the energy drink straight out of Satan’s fridge, Redline, that I became a believer in The Unnecessary Freak Out.

DON’T FALL FOR THESE LIES. Mistake #2: Thinking you will be sexy and happy and popular if you drink an entire can of Redline at once. You will bounce of walls, spin in circles and speak in complete gibberish for no less than 4 hours if you do. Then you will lay in a coma-like state, sprawled out on your floor in a puddle of your own drool.

Don’t let this happen to you.

Little blondie Zack Morris was so sweet and comforting in Jessie’s time of need, bless his heart. I could have used a friend like that during my Redline crack-out.

Jessie had so much potential. Does anyone know if she ever got into Stanford?

Tags: caffeine addiction jesse spano life lessons redline saved by the bell Categories: Me Being Crazy Personal 19 Comments Thus Far