No belly photo this time… just close your eyes and picture a hippo wearing a maxi skirt and I’m sure it’ll be close.
This is all new to me, this waiting game! When I was pregnant with Maddie and was baaaarely a day over my due date, I decided to drink a nice little castor oil cocktail. It sent me right into labor and I had her 12 hours later. And then with Jack, I was induced for no good reason a few days before my due date. So yeah, this is different. I’ve been having tons of false labor start/stops since about 37 weeks, which has been super duper fun and not at all leaving my loved ones sitting on the edge of their seats. I’ve been doing my best not to let impatience get the best of me and just let it happen on it’s own, which is so NOT the way I’m used to operating. It’ll be best in the long run, I truly do believe that.
Honestly though, you know what just plain sucks? Watching as all your friends who were due close to your due date having their babies like, a month ago. Every time I see another one on Facebook give birth, I’m just like Napoleon Dynamite…
For the time being, I’ll just continue bouncing on the exercise ball, hoping it doesn’t explode underneath me while watching One Tree Hill on Netflix and reminding myself that I won’t be pregnant forever. And that my boobs WILL stop growing at some point. (Right? Please tell me I’m right.)
And just like that, I’m in my 8th month! (Today is 33 weeks, 3 days)
Time flies when you don’t post weekly pregnancy updates, doesn’t it? It’s been kind of different/weird, to not be giving the social network every detail of this pregnancy, because last time and the time before that? Well, I basically shared everything, down to the nitty-gritty-no-one-really-wants-to-know-how-much-facial-hair-you-are-growing. But it was fun, you know? Talking and sharing and connecting… and yes, complaining every waking hour of the day. That part was like, SO healthy for my mental state. :) This time, and I know I’ve said this a gillion times, but this time it’s just SO dang different.
The past year has been kind of a season of separation from some social types of situations. A time of being more guarded with my words and really placing a lot of value on what I say and what I do. A time of maybe being a teensy bit radical in some ways. I know those close to me have noticed some stuff changing and may be kind of weirded out and concerned by the sudden nature of the shift in priorities, but honestly, so much greatness is coming of it. I know it’s just a short period of this, to really gain perspective on where I was living — in such a negative, harmful, hurtful and painful place. To step out of that for a bit, to really gain some understanding of why I was the way that I was, so when the dust settles and things get back to ‘normal’, I will be much more grounded and sure of who I am. So I won’t be so shaken up by little things that may go awry in my life. I’m feeling that change right now and it’s good. It’s really good. I’m not telling everyone to go out and do this because wow, stuff really gets stirred up! It’s a very purposeful thing for me and my family, with an end in sight. So I’ll be back here writing more regularly at some point in the near future.
With all that said about guarding my words, you guys know I haven’t had an ultrasound, right? WHEW, I went there! Guard momentarily down! Nope. Haven’t been to the doctor either. Midwife care, yes, traditional OB, no. Huh? What was that you just thought? It’s okay, gurrrl. If you want to unleash the beast, go for it… I’ve heard it all at this point! I can do this dance. I’ll even dip you and give you a kiss at the end because seriously, after hearing what I’ve heard over the past 8 months, nothing could bother me at this point. I’m not being unwise or reckless. There’s a plan and there’s safety involved and this is another very purposeful thing we’re walking out right now. Different? OHHH yes, especially for me, who once held the title of The Queen of Unnecessary Ultrasounds. But again, good things coming from it!
One small example, not going to the doctor means I haven’t weighed myself in several months. Like maybe, twice during this entire pregnancy. It’s been freeing in a lot of ways, but you know, a funny thing happens when you don’t obsess over the number on the scale — You STILL find ways criticize yourself!
Behold… the woman with a hundred chins…
Such a sweet picture of me and Jack Boy, but I still zone in right on those rolls. Count em up! One two, skip a few, 99, 100! I’d love to say that I’m at a place where weight gain doesn’t bother me, but LEZBEREALHURR. It’s a process, people. I am enjoying eating though. I like, really, really enjoy eating. And snow cones. Something about snow cones just does it for me these days.
Oh also, has anyone seen The Business of Being Born? Or any other home birth type documentaries? Would someone please tell me WHY every woman seems to give birth topless??? Enlighten me, por favor. Yes, I will be giving birth in the comfort of my own home and it’s nothing my midwife and husband haven’t seen before, but I can’t. I assure you, I will be covering these monstrosities. My kids have seen me getting into the shower and seem to think something about my physical state is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. Not that my kids will be there for the birth, I just mean there’s a common theme of “LARGE” going on with me right now and I think I’d even distract myself mid-push and start laughing if I was completely nekkid. We’ll just leave it at that.
On that delightful note, I’ll wrap things up. No wait, look at this photo of “beautiful scenery” first and get that other image out of your mind:
The next time you hear from me, I’ll probably have this baby! Woo!
I have officially reached the stage of “Is she pregnant or is that a beer gut?” You know, where maternity clothes are still too roomy and your pre-pregnancy clothes don’t flatter. Or button. And you kind of expect everyone to just know that you are with child, but not everyone does, nor are they as obsessed with that fact as you are. Sometimes they might kind of get confused and don’t know what to say to you so they just avoid the topic altogether until you find a way to bring it up all nonchalantly in the conversation like, “Oh, I’m just on my way to pick up some lemonade at the store and DID YOU KNOW MY BABY IS THE SIZE OF A LEMON?” And then they’re all, “I thought you might be pregz! Congratz”, but you know that during your entire conversation, they were staring you straight in the eye and pretending to listen, but were really just having an intense inner-struggle over whether or not to bring up your belly.
Or you know, they just didn’t notice because you don’t look that much different yet and you’re just paranoid. (No, YOU’RE paranoid!).
Something I’ve noticed is that maternity clothes are only super cute when you’re not pregnant and happen to be walking by the maternity section. I walked through the section on the regular whenever I wasn’t pregnant and it was the same thing errytime… awww, to have a cute belly and dress it all cute and be all cute! When you’re actually pregnant, it’s NOT THE SAME and everything makes you feel 900 years old and 900 pounds. So I’m trying to stretch out the regular clothes as long as I can.
Enter, this item. I saw this cute-ish metallic-ish sweatshirt and wanted to see if it would work.
I quickly learned it did not. ABORT. ABORT.
After a handful of items that did not fit the bill (and having two melting down children in the dressing room with me) I just went with my cami for the shot.
P.S. The rubber band trick is totally the rage with my pants right now. And it happens to be one of Maddie’s tiny little ponytail holders, so I expect it to snap at any given moment.
…technically 12 1/2 weeks… You know how this goes. Every day counts, man.
Nothing to report, really! This one just feels like normal life is going on and I’m not really all that obsessed? Or worried? Or focused on every little belly twinge or spotting or barfy detail? I don’t know how to describe it except to say that I have absolutely no fear this pregnancy. It’s a really awesome feeling and a HUGE relief. It’s made all the difference, not carrying around the extra stress that I had with the other two pregnancies.
Pregnancy is such a breeding ground for fear, amirite? My heart aches for women who experience loss and others who are just absolutely miserable during their pregnancies. What seems to make everything worse is that we’re actually conditioned to be scared if we DON’T barf every day or feel like junk. Like, I’m feeling great! OH NO SOMETHING MUST BE HORRIBLY WRONG! It’s a cruel mind game, man! All I know is that I’m SO thankful for this free feeling and for my health. I know this baby (girl… prediction officially made) is healthy and thriving and ALIVE.
Also, cheese is a no. I may feel great, but the sight/smell/thought of cheese makes me gag/cry.
It is seriously FA-reaking me out how quickly it’s popping out this time. I have wanted to bust out the maternity pants since the day I found out. Oh, you want to know something funny about that? And by funny, I mean not really all that funny? I gave/threw all my maternity clothes away. Like, every last piece, down to the tights with the big belly section thing. I am completely starting from scratch, which I guess isn’t all that bad because yeah, new clothes. But I’m seriously drooling in anticipation of slipping on a pair of full panel maternity pants. Drool-ing.
Side note on that… We didn’t plan to have any more babies. We actually actively planned not to, up until a few months ago when things really turned around in our marriage. I figure this is as good a time as any to say that I even got a psst… breastaugmentation (okay let’s be real and say a ‘boob job’)… a few summers ago because we were THAT done with kids. (Questions/comments welcome!) But really, I can’t tell you how excited we are about this little baby because he/she is really going to represent a completely new chapter for our family. A new life, a new marriage, a new sweet baby. We couldn’t be more happy right now.
On to the questions that were asked…
I’m feeling absolutely amazing this time! Everything about this pregnancy has been radically different from the other two so far. One thing I’m noticing is the most intense craving for sour things. Oranges and apples, lemonade, and these stinkin crazy delicious Fizzy Cola candies I had to full on HUNT DOWN this morning because the need was so intense. It called to me from deep within. Thanks to the sweet girl on Instagram who told me they sell them at World Market because all I could find anywhere were the plain ones and No. Weren’t cutting it.
I’m due sometime in mid July. I haven’t been to the doctor and I’m actually scheduled to meet a midwife soon. I KNOW. Who am I again? I’m honestly considering the home birth route this time. Still looking into all the details, but knowing several women who have been through the process, I am completely comfortable with it and actually kind of pumped about going straight to my own bed after delivery. It’s the little things. Rest assured, I’ll be keeping everyone updated on THAT. It’s a big decision, for sure.
Favorite thing right now? Costco slippers. I don’t even care, man. They are making my life 8,000 times more comfy.
Thank you for all the sweet comments and congratulations! Looking forward to a new chapter!