Archive for the "Personal" Category
Feb
23rd
2012
I’ll just back up a smidge and give you all a history lesson. Bear with me through this part. And read the whole thing so you don’t end up hating my husband.
Justin and I had a pretty rough start to our relationship. I’m not sure if I’ve ever told the whole story on this blog, but we met on Myspace back when it was cool. Or was it ever cool? Fine, back when it wasn’t just a wasteland of sixpack abs photos. I was a sensitive and very emotional young woman of 19 and wasn’t exactly what you would classify as emotionally stable. Justin was nearly 5 years older and at first glance, seemed to have had some experience with the tan bimbos of Skankville.
Like a moth to the flame, I was drawn to his comment archives. And okay, I hacked into his email a few times. I went ALL the way back, people. I tried to connect the dots and figure out who was who and which girl was the one he kissed once and why were there 10 others telling him he’s cute and why are they calling him Pumpkin and HOW IN THE HOLY FRICK do they know where he lives and sweet Moses, it was spiraling out of control. In my head I had built up this scary version of Justin that was like a mash up of Dane Cook, Adam Levine and Jon Hamm’s character in Bridesmaids.
So after several years, this Myspace thing has turned into a joke between Justin and I. I can safely say Justin is no playboy. When you hear some of the stories about what happened with these girls, you would laugh at how awkward the situations actually were. My husband is actually is one of the most socially awkward and shy people on the planet. I’ve seen girls flirt with him and he just stands there and acts confused, then usually ends up saying something in an attempt to be witty, but just ends up insulting the poor woman. I love it a lot, actually.
And me? Well I grew up a bit. Not THAT much, seeing as I’ll still hack an email account every now and then, but who doesn’t? This is America. Criminy.
END HISTORY LESSON.
All that leads to this: After joking with Justin the other night about his so-called Playboy years, I suggested we do an experiment. He’s always saying how much more at ease I am in social situations, so I offered up my services to help Justin cope with his awkwardness.
His first test? Flirt with an attractive woman without stuttering.
On Sunday morning while in line for coffee at the Dutch Brothers drive thru, I said, “Okay, here’s your opportunity. Flirt with this girl. Don’t be nervous, you can do it!”
He’s all, “I wasn’t nervous until you said ‘don’t be nervous’! I don’t know what to say!”
I said, “Ask her what DutcH2O is.” (We had previously discussed whether it was flavored water or something somewhat special because $1.50 is too much for plain water.)
After several minutes, he finally worked up the courage. He leaned out his window, smiled and nervously said, “I… have a question for you… what is DutcH2O?” Smooth.
The girl gave him the side eye and said, “It’s water…?” then went back to making drinks without saying another word. SO FANTASTICALLY INCREDIBLY AWKWARDLY BAD. Oh man, I snort-laughed. Though I have to admit, I’m not the least bit disappointed that Justin can’t flirt. If that situation would have gone differently, you better believe 19 year old Morgan would’ve made an appearance and sent that girl some anonymous hate mail. That’s my M.O. and a story for another day.
We’ll continue to work on Justin’s confidence and social skills and keep you informed of his progress. Any ideas for what his next test should be? I was thinking to send him out to buy a box of tampons and some chocolate. You know, for the experience and all.
Categories: Me Being Crazy Personal
Feb
16th
2012
These are a few of the things my three year old has said lately that have cracked us up. I’m not sure if these are actually funny or that I just die laughing because she’s starting to act a lot like Justin and I, but here you go.
Keep in mind, she watches a lot of Disney movies. I think that may be the inspiration behind some of the silly thoughts.
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While I was baking, she came up and stuck her finger in the powder ingredients. “I Pochahontas-ed it.” (poked)
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Me: Maddie, go back to bed. This is nap time.
Maddie: Okay, Your Highness.
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Maddie: Who’s my father?
Justin: I am.
Maddie: Who’s my other father?
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Came up to me while I had facial hair remover cream on my lip. (WE ALL HAVE FUZZY GIRLSTACHES, SHUT IT.) Politely giggled as if she was very amused with my antics and said, “Whatcha got there?”
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Frequently says, “Yes, Stepmother” if I ask her to do something chore-like.
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Me: Time to go inside! It’s getting too hot out here.
Maddie: I don’t want to!! (fit throwing, screaming, refusing, etc.)
5 minutes later…
Me: Get inside right now before I drag you in!
Maddie: A DRAGON!?! AHHHHHH! (runs inside immediately)
–
Drawings of her family:
“Mommy, that’s you and your coffee.”
“That’s me and Daddy.” Looks like a scene from Signs.
“Mommy and Jack. *giggles* He has a big head. And that’s a spider. *growls* SMASH IT.”
Categories: Me Being a Mom
Feb
07th
2012
You may remember the super adorable pink teardrop earrings I was wearing in the Drugstore Beauty Love post. A few of you have already perused T+J Designs and picked up a pair for yourselves, but for the rest of you who haven’t, GET READY. You’re about to have a steamy love affair with your computer screen.
(Meaning, with the JEWELRY. Not me, sickos.)
-- wearing the Pink & Gold Layered Necklace --
T+J is owned by the sweet and gorgeous Tiffany from one of my all-time favorite fashion blogs, I Am Style-ish. Tiffany and her sister Jen have serious style and an obvious talent in designing jewelry. I’m incredibly thrilled I was able to get my little grubby paws on three pieces from their collection.
-- wearing the Light Blue Pyramid Bracelet --
-- wearing Pink Teardrop earrings --
For someone who is accustomed to the poostank grade Forever21 stuff, I have to say what a thrill it is to wear truly nice jewelry. Nothing is falling apart, chipping or fading and you can just feel the difference in the quality. On top of everything else I love about T+J, their prices are incredibly reasonable. You guys will love their stuff, trust me.
Go check them out!
Interested in owning your own fabulous jewelry from T+J Designs? My readers get 15% off non-sale items by using the code MRSPRISS.
Categories: Beauty Things I'm Loving
Jan
31st
2012
We’ve pretty much all experience road rage at some point in our lives, yes? Or if you’re like me, basically every instance in which you’re in or around a vehicle? I’d like to say I’ve been pretty good about keeping my rage in check while the kids are in the car. Then again, I’d also like to say Ryan Gosling is standing on my doorstep with a tiny guitar.
ANYWAY. The following story is a good reason why I should probably censor the rage a bit.
One morning last week, I took Maddie to Starbucks with me. We were just about to turn into the drive-thru when a white car cut across 3 parking lanes and sped in line ahead of us. It was a douche move, I’ll just say that right now. In my frustration, I threw up my hands and made a few unintelligible noises. No cuss words, just angry sounds, growls, etc. Maddie and I both speak in a growling voice on occasion. No idea when that started.
Maddie picked up on the subtle hint that I was unhappy and said, “WHAT DID THEY DO?” I told her the ladies in the white car were being rude and dangerous for cutting in line and almost hitting our car. Oh yeah, and I wanted my coffee like, 3 hours ago and how dare they get in my way!? She immediately joined the fight.
Way harsh, Tai.
In a growly voice, she said, “I don’t like those mean ladies. They drove too fast! GET OUTTA THE WAY, WHITE CAR!!!”
The car moved up in line as she gave them The Most Evil Stare I’ve ever seen. She said, “Thank you, white car!” followed by a nice, cheesy smile.
We moved up behind the car again and this is where things turned quite diabolical.
Growling, “I don’t like that white car, Mommy. They are mean for driving in front of us. I’m going to get No-No to scratch them in THE FACE!” (No-No is my parents’ cat, named by Maddie when all she could say was the word ‘no’.) I’m sure this doesn’t sound as bad (or as hilarious) as it was, but if you guys could hear her little sweet, yet angry voice saying these things, you’d die.
Like any good mommy would do, I told her it’s not very nice to wish cat scratches on the faces of our enemies. Then we proceeded to make silly faces at the driver through their back window. I think we all learned a good lesson.
Categories: Me Being a Mom Personal
Jan
30th
2012
He’s just a happy, gap-toothed fella.
Categories: Me Being a Mom Personal
