Mrs. Priss

Half the pregnancy updates I read say the third trimester starts this week and the rest say next week… but let’s just ignore that last half and make me a happy girl — I’m in the third trimester! What’s jumping ahead a week going to hurt, right?  Right.

BAM! Belly! And my favorite maternity jeans, if you haven't noticed yet.

Friends, this is a terribly sad day in the life of the girl you see above.  That smile?  It was forced and completely insincere.  The apocalypse is upon us… I have my first stretch mark.

It’s actually really light and small, on my lower belly… BUT IT’S STILL THERE!  And oh, how it taunts me.

The little devil reared it’s ugly, squiggly head last night.  As soon as I noticed it, I let out a very loud and panicked “NOOOOOOOOO!” and ran straight to the bathroom cabinet where I kept the unused tube of stretch mark lotion.  I was determined never to need it, but let me tell you something… I don’t care if it works or not, this stuff is my only hope.  I slathered it on like nobody’s business, saying a silent prayer and shedding one, glistening tear while doing so, no less than 3 times today already.

I am so not the “embrace your beautiful new pregnant body because you’re creating a miracle” type. I loved my cute, flat stomach and will be mourning it’s death until the magic of breastfeeding and Pilates bring it back to me.  Amen and amen.

There is not much to report, other than the fact that this girl is an absolute wiggle worm.  I never get tired of watching my belly jump though… and it’s sort of becoming an issue.  The other day she kicked me hard while I was sitting at the front desk at work, so I lifted up my shirt to see if I could catch her in the act (I know, super classy), and the mailman walked in.  AWKWARD.

Wow, you actually look pregnant today. Yesterday, not so much.

- My boss’s wife

Look at you, mama, you’re growing! How much have you gained?

and

Your belly has gotten big all of a sudden. It looks like the baby has dropped. How far along are you again?

- The obnoxious male janitor who considers himself the pregnancy expert because he helped deliver 6 babies while in Vietnam. Seriously. And to answer your question, dude, I have over 3 months to go. She has not dropped.

When are you due? Like, any day now?

- Cashier at restaurant. And hi, I know I’m 6 and a half months along, but I’m not even that big!

I don’t consider myself overly sensitive to most of the things people say and realize there are some things that just come with the territory. Pregnancy is like having a spotlight shining on your life, inviting everyone to come and see the show. Unless hiding out for 9+ months and giving birth in a cave appeals to you, you’re not getting out of it, Sister.

Belly rubs, stares, and comments of all sorts are just a part of the experience. And normally, I pretty much love the attention! I realize this will probably be the last time anything is all about me, which honestly upsets me a bit, haha.

The only real issue I have are the flat-out rude and unnecessary things some people let loose without any concern for my body image issues (and no, those don’t magically disappear when you become pregnant). If you were to comment about a woman’s weight or size under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be acceptable, but that sweet little baby bump seems to welcome it all.

Call me “cute”, “glowing” and rub my Buddha belly all you want, but try to keep the ‘chunky’s to a minimum. Thanks, lady!

Have any of you experienced anything similar? I’m sure even those of you who have never been pregnant have had someone say something about your body that was just plain rude. Let’s relive all those cruel and awkward moments in a very public way, come on! :)

This entire pregnancy has been one countdown after another. With a lady-cycle that operates like clockwork, I found out I was pregnant the day Aunt Flow was supposed to arrive. Needless to say, it’s been a long 20 or so weeks since then, and I have to admit that I have never been fully content with any of the wonderful stages of pregnancy I’ve made it through. I’m constantly looking forward to the next exciting thing!

I can remember at five weeks, I couldn’t wait to be twelve weeks along so I could share the news (that ended up not making a difference because I couldn’t wait 7 minutes, let alone seven weeks to tell EVERYONE IN MY LIFE, including my mailman… and you think I’m joking).

When I hit twelve weeks, I absolutely couldn’t handle not knowing whether it was a boy or a girl. Finding out about Miss Madelyn at seventeen weeks was the greatest thing, but still, I was aching to be really showing and feeling those little kicks. Well, now all these little milestones have come (and more — I’ll spare you the scary and hairy details) and are just a normal part of life. I’ve been sitting at my desk for the past hour and have felt her moving and wiggling almost the entire time. My regular visits to Target’s shoe displays have been overridden by the trips to the Baby and Maternity sections. Okay, that’s sort of a lie, but I do spend significantly less time shopping for shoes!

Throughout this whole experience, 25 weeks stuck out in my mind as the ultimate milestone. Why I chose that number, I have no idea… but it always seemed so far away and I felt I’d never get there.

Ta-da! I’m here! Only fifteen weeks and a little over 100 days to go until I meet my darling little daughter. Gosh, that still sounds so crazy.

Madelyn is nearly 2lbs, and I'm convinced my boobs each weigh about the same.

Someone’s GROWIIIING…