I have officially reached the stage of “Is she pregnant or is that a beer gut?” You know, where maternity clothes are still too roomy and your pre-pregnancy clothes don’t flatter. Or button. And you kind of expect everyone to just know that you are with child, but not everyone does, nor are they as obsessed with that fact as you are. Sometimes they might kind of get confused and don’t know what to say to you so they just avoid the topic altogether until you find a way to bring it up all nonchalantly in the conversation like, “Oh, I’m just on my way to pick up some lemonade at the store and DID YOU KNOW MY BABY IS THE SIZE OF A LEMON?” And then they’re all, “I thought you might be pregz! Congratz”, but you know that during your entire conversation, they were staring you straight in the eye and pretending to listen, but were really just having an intense inner-struggle over whether or not to bring up your belly.
Or you know, they just didn’t notice because you don’t look that much different yet and you’re just paranoid. (No, YOU’RE paranoid!).
Something I’ve noticed is that maternity clothes are only super cute when you’re not pregnant and happen to be walking by the maternity section. I walked through the section on the regular whenever I wasn’t pregnant and it was the same thing errytime… awww, to have a cute belly and dress it all cute and be all cute! When you’re actually pregnant, it’s NOT THE SAME and everything makes you feel 900 years old and 900 pounds. So I’m trying to stretch out the regular clothes as long as I can.
Enter, this item. I saw this cute-ish metallic-ish sweatshirt and wanted to see if it would work.
I quickly learned it did not. ABORT. ABORT.
After a handful of items that did not fit the bill (and having two melting down children in the dressing room with me) I just went with my cami for the shot.
P.S. The rubber band trick is totally the rage with my pants right now. And it happens to be one of Maddie’s tiny little ponytail holders, so I expect it to snap at any given moment.
…technically 12 1/2 weeks… You know how this goes. Every day counts, man.
Nothing to report, really! This one just feels like normal life is going on and I’m not really all that obsessed? Or worried? Or focused on every little belly twinge or spotting or barfy detail? I don’t know how to describe it except to say that I have absolutely no fear this pregnancy. It’s a really awesome feeling and a HUGE relief. It’s made all the difference, not carrying around the extra stress that I had with the other two pregnancies.
Pregnancy is such a breeding ground for fear, amirite? My heart aches for women who experience loss and others who are just absolutely miserable during their pregnancies. What seems to make everything worse is that we’re actually conditioned to be scared if we DON’T barf every day or feel like junk. Like, I’m feeling great! OH NO SOMETHING MUST BE HORRIBLY WRONG! It’s a cruel mind game, man! All I know is that I’m SO thankful for this free feeling and for my health. I know this baby (girl… prediction officially made) is healthy and thriving and ALIVE.
Also, cheese is a no. I may feel great, but the sight/smell/thought of cheese makes me gag/cry.
You know that scene in The Sandlot where they’re having a camp out and telling the scary story? At one point, they’ve reached complete unity in their understanding of this foul creature, and simultaneously they all eerily whisper, “THE BEAST.”
I’ve used this special cart before and I guess it was like childbirth, in that I completely forgot how painful and grotesque the experience actually was. “Sure, kids! Hop on!” says I, Cool Mom. I mean, I could have carried a handheld basket because I really only had to buy like 2 things, but oh please. Too simple!
Pushing this over the yellow bumps of death at the entrance was enough to leave me gasping for air. I had to take a breather at the Dollar Spot. From there, it continued to spiral down into a pit of despair. Despair and surprisingly, laughter. This thing is like, 9 feet long, and with the Christmas crowd out and about, it took extreme caution on my part not to run over everyone in my path! I kept busting up laughing because turning corners was just ridiculous. I have no other words to describe it. And I was getting stuck on racks of clothing and and and… the list goes on, my friends.
The best part of the experience was noticing who gave a turd about my misfortune and who didn’t even mind. I think I ran over about 9 toes and no one got annoyed. I had a few moms laugh along with me, nodding their heads in sympathy, but my favorite was an older Asian man in the canned food aisle. We were at one end and he turned and began walking toward us. I was already trying my hardest to move the cart to the right side to make enough room for him. As he got closer, he started laughing and smiling with THE most sincere expression I’ve ever seen. It was the sweetest thing. He’s like, “That looks like a tough one!” chuckle chuckle. I bet he’d make a good grandpa. I kind of wanted to hug him. He might have called security at that point, but yeah.
Anyway, this thing? Funny, but never again. I brought it up on Facebook and all my friends chimed in with their own stories. Everyone knows the legend of The Beast.
It is seriously FA-reaking me out how quickly it’s popping out this time. I have wanted to bust out the maternity pants since the day I found out. Oh, you want to know something funny about that? And by funny, I mean not really all that funny? I gave/threw all my maternity clothes away. Like, every last piece, down to the tights with the big belly section thing. I am completely starting from scratch, which I guess isn’t all that bad because yeah, new clothes. But I’m seriously drooling in anticipation of slipping on a pair of full panel maternity pants. Drool-ing.
Side note on that… We didn’t plan to have any more babies. We actually actively planned not to, up until a few months ago when things really turned around in our marriage. I figure this is as good a time as any to say that I even got a psst… breastaugmentation (okay let’s be real and say a ‘boob job’)… a few summers ago because we were THAT done with kids. (Questions/comments welcome!) But really, I can’t tell you how excited we are about this little baby because he/she is really going to represent a completely new chapter for our family. A new life, a new marriage, a new sweet baby. We couldn’t be more happy right now.
On to the questions that were asked…
I’m feeling absolutely amazing this time! Everything about this pregnancy has been radically different from the other two so far. One thing I’m noticing is the most intense craving for sour things. Oranges and apples, lemonade, and these stinkin crazy delicious Fizzy Cola candies I had to full on HUNT DOWN this morning because the need was so intense. It called to me from deep within. Thanks to the sweet girl on Instagram who told me they sell them at World Market because all I could find anywhere were the plain ones and No. Weren’t cutting it.
I’m due sometime in mid July. I haven’t been to the doctor and I’m actually scheduled to meet a midwife soon. I KNOW. Who am I again? I’m honestly considering the home birth route this time. Still looking into all the details, but knowing several women who have been through the process, I am completely comfortable with it and actually kind of pumped about going straight to my own bed after delivery. It’s the little things. Rest assured, I’ll be keeping everyone updated on THAT. It’s a big decision, for sure.
Favorite thing right now? Costco slippers. I don’t even care, man. They are making my life 8,000 times more comfy.
Thank you for all the sweet comments and congratulations! Looking forward to a new chapter!
It’s the troof. We’re having another!
I didn’t think I’d ever be taking belly shots again (is that the right phrase? ‘belly shots’? Or are those like what you do at frat parties? Someone please clarify, thx). Buuut I think for the sake of tradition, and as my friend Steph said, “to keep it fair with all the babies”, I’m going to continue with the awkward side angle mirror reflection belly shots…
- The most notable bump in the photo is actually the unicorn horn that is sprouting between my eyes. It’s quite magical, really.
- And I don’t own a full length mirror (I know, what??), so an excuse to go try on clothes each week and use Target’s mirror? Yeah, I’m happy to do that.
- The elephant in the photo: Maddie was mad because of something. Thought you’d appreciate some clarification.