My snot covered life

glistening trail of snot

y u do dis?

This is a bit TMI, but when your kid has a cold, do you find snot on like every surface of your life?  It’s more than the usual wipe-on-the-sleeves thing. That, I could handle. I’m talking, walls, table tops, couch cushions, car doors. I have one kid in particular… a true artist, really, who has been known to express their creativity in unconventional ways. The current canvas of choice seems to be my cute decorative throw pillows on the couch. Is this real life? I feel like I have an extreme case on my hands, but I’d really like to know — is this happening to you too?

I cry.

It’s like my life right now is that game at the end of Double Dare with the giant boogery nose. Look, the guy needs goggles and helmet to deal. This is accurate. I have to gear up and take this thing head on or else my house is overrun with slime.

pickit3

On that note, anyone want to come over and hang out?

(Oh and Life Tip: Don’t Google image search “snot nose” unless you’re trying to make yourself barf.)

DIY Emoji Cookies

DIY emoji cookies header

Just thought I’d share with you all a super simple recipe for making these adorable emoji cookies! Aren’t they perfect?? I mean, I really did an amazing job. I am like a super talented baker and can do all things perfectly the first time I try! All you other bakers out there — listen up! It’s time to walk away from your pastry dreams. Just give up. I’m about to take the world by storm with my culinary handiwork and there’s just no room in this business for sub-par. I would just make you look bad and then you’d be all embarrassed and then I’d feel bad for embarrassing you and it would just be awkward all around. But I do wish you all the best. Don’t forget to check out my new show on the Food Network for all my groundbreaking tips and tricks!

End scene.

So the other night, I watched a tutorial on the good old YouTube with Maddie and Jack. The girl in the video whipped up a batch of these cookies with a smile on her face and not even a single drop of sweat. She made it look so simple, so effortless, that I felt something begin to rise within me. It was inspiration — nay, courage. As the video came to a close, I stood up in the middle of my living room, held my head up high and boldly declared, “KIDS… WE SHALL BAKE!”

My two excited children began jumping and squealing with glee. “Mom’s going to make cookies again! Mom’s going to make cookies again!” It had been a while, you see. My last attempt didn’t go so well and everyone in my house remembers the ordeal, but no one will dare speak of it. Normally, when I see one of those viral baking videos that look too good to be true, I use the wisdom gained from years of failed baking attempts to solemnly close my eyes, shake my head and walk away. But this time… this time felt different.

Here is an example of my previous work:

Rainbow cookie who did it better

(Cast your votes below.)

So today, the kids and I took a trek to find supplies for our emoji cookies! It was sure to be a memorable experience that we would cherish for years to come. This, I hoped, would be turning point, the time they’d look back on in their old age and reminisce together, remembering how they gathered around a mixing bowl while I, their beloved mother, watched on with patience and encouragement, playfully dotting flour on their noses and letting them lick the spoon.

Today was not that day.

I let the kids help with the mixing and it was going well enough until Jack somehow got snot on the handle of the spatula. I told him to go play video games. Yes it is true, I am the actual best. Maddie and I finished up the baking and started frosting the cookies, when Justin came and hovered over my shoulder crunching Easter candy loudly in my ear.  I was in the middle of trying out a technique I had just read about called “How to ice cookies without a piping bag” when he says, “Aren’t you supposed to –crunch crunch- pipe those?” He is the son of a real baker, so he knows a thing or two about annoying a woman who is trying to bake.

I forged on.

A few hundred eye twitches later, I had completed the masterpiece. I say “I” because Jack was still off dripping snot all over the computer and Maddie was standing by, wincing and politely critiquing my decorating technique — I honestly don’t think she’d want me to include her in the credits of this particular work. She is not to blame, after all.

all emojis

The empty spot was once held by a face who was too ugly for the internet to see, so I killed him with my mouth. My favorite is the one up in the top corner that I literally slapped the black frosting eyes on and then threw the bag because I was SO DONE. Didn’t even finish his teeth because there was no use trying to rescue him. I do think the embarrassed guy on the right with the growth coming out of his head perfectly depicts my emotions at this time.

football mouth

Do you feel as uncomfortable as I do having those dripping bloody eyes staring at you? I do love Señor Football Mouth though. You can tell he has a zest for life.

emoji cookies fail nailed it

You can view the video that started it all here: How to Make Emoji Cookies by Nerdy Nummies

I know, this isn’t quite a tutorial like you may have expected a few minutes ago, but I personally learned a lot from this experience. I now know how much money I am willing to pay to have someone else make cookies so I don’t have to.

I bless you and your cookie making efforts! May they be far less sweaty and rage-filled than my own.

Update on that big ol’ rhino head

rhino target remember me

A few weeks back, I shared this big fat random rhino head I found on clearance at Target for a few bucks. I loved it, but wasn’t quite sure how Ruth would react to it being in her bedroom. Well, I’m here to update you on this delightful experience.

I mounted it above her bed and Ruthie immediately rejected it with extreme prejudice. So I took it down. Then I put it back up the next day because it looked really cute up there above her crib with the other little things I have on the wall and I had to give it another shot, dang it! Well, duh, Ruthie noticed it again when I put her to bed and immediately got all rude about it. So I gave up and took it down again. I tried. And I guess I can understand not wanting some big rhino staring at you while you’re trying to sleep.

(I can’t lie; When I first opened it, I held it up to my face and said, “HIIII Ruthieeeee!” in a deep voice and I think I freaked her out. That might have something to do with why she hates it so much. HMM…)

So anyway, this is where Ruby the Rhino is hanging out today, way on the other side of the room from where Ruthie sleeps, above the dresser:

Ruthie's wall sunflower headband

Recognize her headband? lawlz

I had to make a new spot for her and she’s kind of off to the side up on that wall, but it’ll do. To be perfectly honest, all those little frames have been adjusted so carefully and strategically in that formation because they’re hiding about 40 nail holes I’ve made in that wall over the years. The rhino is covering several as well. I’ve never patched a wall in my life, but I guess I should try at some point since I’ve butchered nearly every wall in my home with all the times I’ve rearranged my stuff!

Rearranging wall decor is like therapy to me though. I do it more than what I’d consider normal. It just keeps things fresh around here!

you make me happy

This little thing I threw together in about 2 minutes because I had that empty frame and needed to cover some more nail holes. Scrapbook paper + laser cut wood quote (from Michael’s) = easy decor!

Now before I go, I just have to keep it real. Because this is what a toddler’s room ACTUALLY looks like:

Ruth's room outside the crop

Currently Crafting: Rustic Flower Box Display

Turn This Into This

When I’m at Target 7 times a week (exaggerating, but don’t dare me), I can’t help but browse the Dollar Spot and check out the adorable seasonal decor and crafty thingamabobs! I’ve been seeing these Easter themed wood boxes lately. I couldn’t help but to be drawn to the gold and white polka dot details along the sides! I picked it up and saw that it wasn’t a solid block of wood, but it had a hollow back. Since I’ve been making felt succulent boxes lately, I immediately thought of another use for this little guy…

Egg Hunt Block Target Dollar Spot

Mrs Priss DIY Flower Box Repurpose Flip

Mrs Priss DIY Flower Box Repurpose Felt Flowers

I added some felt flowers and a few fake sprigs and I had myself a new display box! It’s a pretty good way to re-purpose something seasonal that you wouldn’t really use the rest of the year. I’m all about finding multiple uses for things… I have been known to put leftover nipple cream from my nursing days on my heels and elbows. I know, my resourcefulness knows no bounds!

Mrs Priss DIY Flower Box Repurpose Baby Fingers

Ruthie was sitting next to me at the dining room table and wanted in on the flower action. She kept saying, “Umm…” and I finally realized I mindlessly say “umm… hmm…” while I’m crafting. UMM weird.

Mrs Priss DIY Flower Box Repurpose Display

So would anyone be interested in a tutorial explaining how I made the flowers? I think I will work on that in the near future!

To be or not to be offended

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I love to write. And I really love to be vulnerable and transparent with everyone I meet, even if it means I look a little weird sometimes. This blog is a reflection of every facet of my life, the fun silly stuff, things I’m learning and walking out, things that are very real to me. I’m always in the process of learning, growing, stretching in each of those areas — something on which I place a high value, especially since I plan on being useful in this world. I had someone leave a comment who had never left a comment before, a reader who was irritated that I was on a ‘never ending soul search’ or something to that effect. I don’t see how that’s a bad thing, really! I want you all to know that these posts that tend to get pretty personal, are spiritual and introspective in nature… that’s just who I am and the journey I am on. I am a sensitive soul searcher. What use is it to ignore your own soul? To ignore what’s hurting? To ignore who you are? 

Now that that’s out of the way, I feel very prompted to talk about taking offense, haha! Timely, wouldn’t you say? Offense is something we all know and know it well, especially during this wonderful election time, amirite? I’ve heard people describe offense as “drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. It really couldn’t be more plain than that!

I think I was blind to how offended I was. I was so angry with the world that I was literally walking around with a scowl on my face. I remember shopping at Michael’s craft store, quite truthfully My Happy Place, and someone asked me if I needed help because I looked upset. I was like, “UPSET?! What do you mean UPSET?! I was having a nice time looking at these stamps until you had to interrupt and accuse me of being angry! RUDE!” I didn’t say that of course — I mean, confrontation has never been my jam, so this stuff would just fester and boil under the surface until one lucky person would bear the brunt of my issues when they’d unexpectedly explode like flaming fury out of my mouth hole. I mean, really though, how could I not see that I was so angry on the inside? It’s just so easy to blame everyone else when you feel negative emotions.

I would get offended at strangers who didn’t say thank you when I opened the door for them and would usually say a loud and sarcastic, “YOU’RE WELCOME!”, you know, to teach them a lesson. That would make me feel better for a whole 2 seconds. I would get annoyed with waiters and waitresses when they’d ask me if I needed more water because they were interrupting my conversation. I would get irritated with my coworkers when they’d plop a stack of papers on my desk — you know, the work I was getting paid to do.

bon qui qui don't interrupt

I started noticing around age 22 that I had a wrinkle, an anger line between my eyebrows that was formed from so much frowning. A WRINKLE AT 22! Mercy. But I honestly thought I was justified in my anger. I was a thoughtful person and really did go out of my way to make people happy and comfortable, but everyone else was rude, no one appreciated my kindness, no one appreciated me. And no matter how many kind things I did for others, there were still those people who were hateful, who didn’t like me. No matter how hard I tried to be likeable, people still didn’t treat me how I wanted to be treated. And I’m sure that 99% of the time, they didn’t even mean to offend me. That is, in a nutshell, what was killing me on the inside.

Now imagine the havoc that mindset would wreak on a marriage. And that was just what I brought to the table, not even talking about Justin’s stuff! Walking around the house and seeing a sock on the floor would send me into a fit of rage because doesn’t he know all I do for him and he can’t just pick up one sock!? It was the principle of the thing. In that moment, it didn’t matter that he loved me — I couldn’t remember all the sweet thoughtful things he did for me outside of that moment where I felt wronged. I couldn’t see that the real problem was that I was chronically offended. I really believe it wouldn’t have mattered if every person I held the door open for said thank you, if all the waiters waited until I was done with my sentence to refill my water, or if Justin walked on eggshells and kept the entire house clean for me all the time, showered me with compliments and brought me flowers every day — the problem was me. And nothing improved in my life until I faced that hard fact.

Angry-Meme-02

The truth is, we really do take offense. It’s a choice. But what do you do when you truly can’t help but feel angry, no matter how unoffended you try to be? Because I know I’ve heard that quote “offense is taken, not given” a thousand times and it didn’t help me one bit in actually fixing the problem. I tried, and I personally couldn’t help but to choose offense. I was hurting so much. Well that, my friend, is what I’m walking out. I don’t know it all, but I do know that the first step is realizing the world, your husband, your kids are not out to get you, and that your sweet pure heart has simply been wounded. You’ve been hurt. You’ve been wronged. And really, the anger that boils is just a by-product of fear. Whaa?

For me, down at the root, I fear not having love reciprocated. I struggle with fear of rejection. Why would it bother me so much that a sock is left on the ground then? That doesn’t seem like fear of rejection. But that fear really is at the bottom of every single circumstance where I become offended. I get angry with Justin because I feel that he doesn’t love me enough to pick up that one dang sock, after all I do for him. I try so hard to help people and then they don’t say thank you. They don’t appreciate me. They are rejecting my efforts. They are rejecting me. And that’s upsetting, that’s scary, that’s hurtful. So yes, that outward burst of anger is just fear brought to a boil.

So how am I getting that fear uprooted then? Well, you can sure try to do it without God’s help, but I can’t tell you how successful that will be. All I know is I sure couldn’t do it without Him when I tried. So I finally asked for His help. I asked Him to show me what He thinks of me. I read scriptures that tell me how loved and accepted I am. Because when the God of the universe is in love with you, hasn’t rejected you no matter what crap you’ve pulled in your life, and still shows you every day that you are accepted and beautiful and worthy of love, that fear of being rejected by people will have no option but to go. Because people’s opinions aren’t the stuff of truth. People are all just hurt and wounded and broken themselves.

The awesome thing about getting that fear uprooted is that the anger will go with it. It’s dwindling more and more each day. I’ve been seeing some fruit of that emotional healing in my marriage. I can’t tell you how different the tone of our relationship is, with just that shift in perspective. We’re trying to let go of all the burdens we place on one another. All those needs we expect the other one to meet for us, those needs we weren’t designed to fulfill for one another… yeah, letting those go. Sure, we have things we have to do for each other that are just a normal part of marriage, to show each other we care, to help, to be partners in life — we’re not living in la la land. But instead of lashing out at one another because something didn’t go perfectly and the other one let us down, we’re looking inward (There’s that soul searching again!), facing the real problem on the inside. And you know what? It’s making our marriage stronger, giving us the capacity to handle bigger life issues in unity, and overall leaving us with a stable, loving relationship that we haven’t known before. This process really is bearing much, much fruit.