Something a little out of the ordinary happened yesterday that I wanted to share with you all. It may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it had a big impact on me.
It was 8:20 and I was still in bed. The kids slept in and I had no reason to get up, other than to try to make it to my 9:30 moms Bible study, whiiiich let’s just say I wasn’t really wanting to do. I had actually told myself the night before that I wasn’t going to go, simply because I was tired right at that moment. I mean, I had just watched 5 straight hours of Downton Abbey and it was late, yo. Totally valid excuse! I’m sure you’ve all had those times when you know you should get out of bed and start getting ready for that ‘thing’, but the bed! It’s just so warm! And I’m just too tired! And I’ll never make it on time because I’m late already so why even try! And the lame excuses! Just! Keep! Coming! It was TOTALLY one of those mornings. Whether it’s work/church/appointments/school… I’ve always been this way. Procrastinator to the core. I know very well I’m going to get up and get ready for ‘the thing’ and I will only make it harder on myself the longer I stay in bed, but IT’S JUST SO DANG COZY ONE MORE MINUTE WON’T HURT I MEAN 10 MORE MINUTES WON’T HURT, RIGHT?
I got out of bed. The kids woke up and we all were fed, dressed and out the door in record time. This never happens. I did my usual “I’m late, but there’s still time for Starbuuuucks!” run because obviously I have priorities.
Some of you might remember my road rage post from last year. Well, the Starbucks over by my house attracts the most interesting people and never fails to provide unique and memorable experiences (or, weird and slightly terrifying experiences). Yesterday was no different. I was in the drive-thru, and if you can imagine this, there’s no physical barrier for the line. It’s surrounded by painted parking spots and people push their way into the line ALL the time. It drives me nuts! They will flat out cut in front of you and act like nothing’s strange or rude about it at all.
Yesterday, that happened. I was about to scoot up and a woman sped in front of me with the foulest expression on her face. Out of habit, my arm flew up in a “HELLOOO??!” gesture, but I stopped mid-flail and realized something. I didn’t feel angry. The arm came down. You guys know I’m almost always raging about something, but not this time. In fact, in that moment of clarity, I realized that she had been sitting in line when I drove up, and though she was not in the ‘correct’ line, she had still been there before me.
So this is the weird part. I said to my kids, “I’ll be right back, everything’s okay!” and I stepped out of my car. I calmly walked up to this scowling woman’s car and tapped on her window. (WUT. Do I have a death wish?!) She opened her door and harshly said, “Can I help you with something?”
I responded, “Oh no… I just wanted to apologize for cutting you off back there. I didn’t realize you were waiting in line before me and didn’t want you to think I was trying to jump in front of you on purpose.”
Her reaction? Tears in her eyes. She completely softened and that scowl on her face just melted away. Her face didn’t melt away… I might’ve explained that wrong, but you get what I’m saying. She said, “Thank you for saying that. I really thought you were trying to go in front of me.”
I said, “I just wanted to make it right with you before you drove away. Have a good day!” And she said, “You too.”
Now this is the part where I get a little deep and tell you what that meant for me. Some people would call me crazy for leaving my kids in the car and walking up to a complete stranger who was VERY angry with me, but I can’t say I regret it. Would I do it again? Well, if I had time to think things through, I would have probably come up with one of my famous excuses not have done a thing. Like, “She was the wrong one…You were in the real line… you don’t owe her anything but your middle finger” or “Don’t leave your kids in a car alone in a parking lot” (to be honest, they were only 10 feet away from me, but still… I wouldn’t have done any of this under normal circumstances). The woman would have driven out of that parking lot hating me for life and I would have probably been angry with her for quite a while as well.
I went on to my moms group. Our leader didn’t actually have any scripture for our lesson, she just talked about some things that were on her heart. One of the things she said went along perfectly with my Starbucks experience, like how we should not being so quick to judge others when we don’t have the full story or know what hardships they may be going through in their own lives. THAT. I ALWAYS do that. I struggle with feeling proud and entitled and angry when someone thinks I’m in the wrong, but I don’t often stop and think about where they’re coming from. So I was about to go off on this lady and — you all know I’m a Christian by now, so I feel completely comfortable saying this — God totally intervened. Those tears could have been anything — embarrassment, the wind in her eyes, relief… it’s not for me to say — I am just glad things were made right with her. One of those non-resolutions I’ve been working on is my anger and entitlement, so I view that crazy, out of character thing I did yesterday as a total victory. That wasn’t me. There’s no way I would have done that on my own. Shoot, I didn’t even want to get out of bed that morning because I’m lazy and entitled and imperfect in every way!
I’m being worked on. Changed for the better. I’m so excited about that.
Good morning, lovelies! I have chosen a winner of the headband giveaway at random…
Congratulations, Michelle! I’ll be emailing you shortly.
Now, for my little twist… Michelle has won bothher favorite item in my shop and the headband! You didn’t think I’d make you tell me for no reason, did you? :)
Happy Wednesday! And thank you to everyone who participated. I love you all!
Happy Wednesday! And thank you to everyone who participated. I love you all!
It’s been a while since I’ve hosted a giveaway for all you lovely girls and I think it’s about time! Justin and the kids are all taking a nap, so I’m in good spirits on this fabulous Saturday afternoon! :)
To win this headband, visit the Little Lovelies shop and leave a comment on this post, telling me what your favorite item is. If you don’t see anything you like, give me a suggestion for something new! If you’re a douche about it (because there is a douche who keeps sending me weird emails), I will hunt you down and punch you in the throat.
This giveaway closes on Monday evening at 11:59pm PST. Good luck!
In search of: A cliff. Preferably high off the ground, with large jagged rocks reaching out for me with their arm-like spikes, waiting patiently to bring me in for a warm hug at the bottom.
I’m dramatic and kiddingbutnotreally. It’s just been one of those days, guys. First, well, just look.
Those would be greasy, hot pink, chunky toddler handprints. Jack demolished some more of my beloved lipstick. Not only is it in the bathroom, but it also trickles down the hall and into our bedroom where it explodes into a something truly grand. Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, WE HAVE AN ARTIST.
Hey, Sir Artist. Would you mind explaining your work to your fans?
No? Oh, don’t be so humble! Really, WE ARE ALL ACHING TO UNDERSTAND.
Anyway, jolly good show. Can you imagine going to gather your children for your favorite time of the day — NAPS! MOM’S ONLY ALONE TIME EVER IN HER LIFE! — only to find that mess in your room? Then you have to give your children baths (yes, “children”, because, don’t think for one minute that Maddie wasn’t drawn like a moth to that hot-pink flame), where they will proceed to dump three gallons of dirty bathwater all over the floor.
Sir Artist is now asleep, probably dreaming up some inspiration for his next masterpiece. His understudy is supposed to be in her room, but has crept out quietly and is now hiding around the corner and peeking at me with one eye as I type this. And she’s not wearing pants.
This day is weird.
I’m not big on putting touchy-feely posts on this blog, but every once in a while it just feels good to take a break from all the makeup and crafting and rage and just be real for a sec. Maybe that’s your cue to leave and go do something infinitely more fun like online shop. Or perhaps you’ll stick it out and this post will bore the crap out of you because there are no fun pictures JUST ALL THESE WORDS, GAH. Either way, you’re pooping or shopping and both are enjoyable/productive, so at least I could help with that!
This is about to get really kumbaya right now, but do you ever feel like your life is out of balance or you’re spreading yourself too thin? Um, hi, that’s me right this second. Shoot, that’s me every day. I have a really hard time with disorder. You’d be surprised by that if you could look at my house right now, but chaos and imperfections STRESS ME OUT. If there’s a sink full of dishes that need to be washed, I can’t relax and get physically jittery until they’re taken care of. Same goes with dirty floors, weeds taking over the yard, drops of spaghetti sauce on the stove. And obviously, I’m referring to this Hoarders-status pile of laundry at my feet, that is now so large that it has spilled out of this room and into the kitchen. Messes, disorder, chaos… it all gives me the pit sweats.
I’m not just talking about physical messes though, as annoying as they are. I can handle those with a little time and some Comet. The big thing I’m dealing with is trying to manage each area of my life and being okay with the imperfections. I struggle hard with this, I really do. There are so many tasks I want to accomplish in the day and when I don’t get it all done, I feel like I failed. That’s the main reason I’m not into making New Year Resolutions… it’s just another “thing” I will beat myself up over if it doesn’t get accomplished. EMO MUCH?!
I want to be a great wife and mom, taking care of everyone’s needs. That’s a lot of responsibility on it’s own, but it’s my number one priority and I’m SO thankful I have the opportunity. (I don’t want any of my rantings to come across as me taking my amazing family for granted, ever.) I also want to keep a tidy home, stay in contact with my family and friends, make sure I get the kids outside to play and socialize, teach them something new, keep up with this blog and my Etsy shop, try to fit in a workout, look somewhat attractive by the time my husband gets home from work, make a healthy yet delicious dinner (always a challenge), spend some quality time with each family member before they go to bed, read my Bible and pray. Those are the basics and not even touching on the 800 dvr’d shows calling my name. Not too outrageous when you see it written down in front of you and consider the fact that I’m home all day and it’s MY JOB to do these things… but I STILL can’t manage to do it all. And like every other woman out there who struggles with this, I beat myself up over it.
So why am I sitting on the computer when all this stuff needs to be done around my home? Because I just needed to vent to my girlfriends. I can only dump so much of my drama on my husband before he goes crazy (and I think that point is rapidly approaching… sorry, honey). I know I’m not alone and that all women go through the feeling of being spread too thin or ‘not enough’ at some point. It’s not just a mom thing. It’s a human thing. And last time I checked, I’m definitely not a machine. I am just an imperfect woman who is doing her best. We all are.
It’s nice to shoot a little “blhasdfkajs;dlfkjasdklfjsdkja” out of my fingertips and send it off to the internet every once in a while. Thanks for sticking around. Bonus kumbaya hugs if you pooped AND read this post at the same time.