Last week I thought I was pregnant.

I’ve had two legitimate pregnancy scares since I’ve had Madeline. The first was at my 6 week postpartum appointment. The nurse measured my height, took my weight and asked some pretty general questions.

Nurse: So, how are things going Mom?

Me: Great!

Nurse: Are you breastfeeding?

Me: Yes.

Nurse: Have you had sexual intercourse since giving birth?

Me: ……………………………yesssss.

Nurse: Okay, let’s get a urine sample.

Me: Okay– wait, WHAT? O_O

Off she skipped, leaving me to my thoughts and that dreaded little plastic cup.  After waiting forty-five minutes for my results to come back, I had pretty much worked myself up into a tizzy. By the time she came back in, I had mentally come full circle: OMG, she just took a urine sample. That means I could be pregnant, again! GOD, HELP ME. Madeline is 6 weeks old, so that means I’ll have two kids under a year old at the same time. WHAT. AM. I. DOING? I’ll have to quit work, get a double stroller, move into a bigger place and I’ll eventually need a boob job, no doubt. Well, that part’s not so bad. And actually, new babies are cuddly, sweet and smell flipping good. Awww, I wonder if it’ll be a boy this time. No, I don’t think I can handle a wiener. I think I want another girl – a little sister for Maddie. Ahhh, they are going to have so much fun shopping together when they’re older! Maddie and… gosh, I need another name. Another ‘M’ name, or is that too cheesy? Maybe a ‘J’, after Justin this time. Wait, what the heck am I thinking?! I CAN’T BE PREGNANT AGAIN… I will DIE.

Needless to say I wasn’t pregnant back in January, but last Thursday I went through a similar thought process when I realized I was a full week late. This time, I shared my possible exciting news with Stephanie, who proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon showing me pictures of her adorable new brother and sister. Torture! By 5:00, I was actually looking forward to going home and taking a pregnancy test. I had 2 sets of first & middle names and a few options for nursery decor picked out. Pro.

Well, I’m definitely not pregnant. Ah, the wonders of nature. At least now I know if it does happen by accident, I’m not going to die. I might even be happy about it. :)

22 thoughts on “Last week I thought I was pregnant.

  1. thank you steph i was afraid of maddie being an only child there for a while and be being an only child threatened to kill her if she left maddie to that fate! and congrats on not being preggers morg.. love you..

  2. Haha! I think I am pregnant almost every month, but last one, I was pretty certain. Then when I wasn’t, I was sad! Crazy what those emotions do to you!

  3. Ok: 1) really? At only 6 weeks post? I couldn’t even think about that until closer to 10 weeks post.

    and 2) I had that paranoia a few times ONLY I don’t want another. One of my friends is currently 10 weeks along with #2 and it was an “oops!” — her daughter is younger than mine!

  4. Lord, if I were pg 6 weeks after giving birth, I would die. SEriously. But if I were pg with an 8 month old, I’d be all over it. I’m glad you’re okay with whatever happens. I seriously live vicariously through bloggers with babies. It’s mass love for me!!!

  5. omg, morgan, SIX WEEKS?! you are hilarious. That happened to my mom. She went in for her six week post partum check up after having me and found out she was having my brother. We’re 10mos apart…Every year after his bday, for 2 months we’re the same age,until my bday. LOL! It’s so weird. And I don’t think I understood the full meaning of it all until I went to my OWN 6wk check up and thot oh dear god. lol!!!

  6. I seriously LOLed and then wondered how on earth you were able to do it before six weeks. I was so scared of even the though of that happening….

  7. Oh my gosh, I do the SAME thing basically every time I feel the slightest bit queasy or have achy boobs. I freak out and swear this is it, I’m knocked up again! My husband swears I’m keeping the pregnancy test companies in business. Thanks for coming by my blog, if you end up making the jcrew inspired tuxedo tank let me know, I’d love to see pics!

  8. You’re hysterical! I loved your little conversation with yourself.

    Sounds like your pregnancy scares have at least helped you come to terms with the idea! So as scary as it may seem, that must help!

    I’ve been having all of these crazy pregnant dreams lately! Now THAT is scary.

  9. hahaha, we go to the same ob and I can picture everything about that appt! Sooooo funny. Wait. That sounded just WRONG. But you know what I mean. Anyway, that’s exactly how I knew I was ready for our 1st anyway- I was a teeny TINY TINY bit bummed a test came back negative.

  10. I went into hysterics this last week thinking I may be pregnant again…at first I thought “We can’t possibly do this”…then I reminded myself, “if I am then God will take care of us cuz it’s not like we weren’t trying to prevent”. With that I felt more relaxed and the idea didn’t scare me anymore. It would of actually been a nice addition to my sex ed class…”Mrs. Faust What if you use a condom…isn’t that safe?”…”No class…I used one and now look what happened.” lol! Part of me now wished it did (a very small part) :0).

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