Two Things My Husband Looks for in a Woman

Last week I talked about the battle of hotness between Jack and Sawyer from Lost. Since I probably made myself out to be a shallow, disrespectful skank of a wife who talks too much about hot celebs, I feel the need to share a little about my husband.

(Okay, mostly this is to inform you juuuuuust how much we both love our celebs. IT’S NOT JUST ME, I SWEAR. And we’re oddly okay with each other’s crushes. Except for Megan Fox. She’s a B.)

(And yes, I call them ‘celebs’. Don’t judge.)

Justin and I recently started watching Mad Men and he quickly became enamored with the redhead. The other 3 men who read this blog just perked up and were like, ‘Who? JOAN? Ohhh yeahhhhhhhhh. *fist bump*” because they know exactly who I’m talking about, even if they haven’t seen a single episode.

Why the obsession? I’ll give you two reasons:

(I was thisclose to numbering them… OKAY FINE.)

Mad Men Joan Holloway

Justin tries to say he likes her because she’s a “genuine, kind-hearted person in real life” since she married a guy who’s average-looking. Oh okay, and you asked me out on that first date because you thought I looked “smart and wholesome” in my Myspace picture. I’m on to you.

(Yes… we met on Myspace.)

26 thoughts on “Two Things My Husband Looks for in a Woman

  1. are those puppies real?
    also, i had no idea who this lady was at the golden globes (p.s. huh. huh-hu-huh…huh) but i do remember gasping at the size of number one and two when i saw her.

  2. Megan fox is the skankiest in all of skankland.

    My husband likes her as well, aaaand 1 and 2 which I sadly have like .328328 percent of. Holy large boobies batman in your christian seriano(sp?) dress.

  3. Oh, this is funny! I do love her red hair.

    For the last year I’ve been trying to get my bf to admit who his celebrity crush is. He claims not to have one. *rolls eyes* I, however, am a devoted admirer of James Franco.

  4. Hahahaha!!!!
    Omg, you.are.HILARIOUS!!!!
    And also? I think you just introduced me to my new girl crush.
    We all know I have an obsession with “#1 & #2” but what you may not know is that I love redheads. I want to be one in my next life.

    Ps. Don’t be skerred, I swear I’m not a lezzie ;D lol!!!!

  5. I totally agree with you about Megan Fox. What’s with her attitude anyway? I think she needs to get over herself.

    As for that chick from Mad Men, I know her best from Firefly. Either way, she’s pretty. So judging by her, and by you, I’d say your husband has good taste.

  6. Mandy: THEY ARE REAL. And they’re kind of glorious, I’d say.

    Crystal: Yet another reason why I love you! Megan Fox haters, UNITE.

    Jessica: I hate to say it, but it’s probably Megan Fox. lol

    Jimaie: Dye it red now, why not? hahahaha… omg, I just remembered your mom’s “I love black people” party. SO GREAT.

    Trisha: I have NO idea, but I love you for agreeing with me. That’s all I ask for in a friend, :) And also, I have about 1/10th of her boobs, but he still sort of likes me for some reason, haha.

  7. Oh my gosh when I saw those on TV my jaw nearly dropped straight to the floor. How does she live day to day with those HUGE things?!

  8. Id be worried if my husband wasn’t attracted to her, she is FABULOUS!

    Oh ya Megan fox is beautiful but tries way to hard to be cool!

  9. When I saw her and those in that dress, my first response was, “Oh, she must be a nursing mother. Its just a little engorgment, right?”. Because, sheesh, breastfeeding really brings those pornstar boobs out.

    At least for me. Can we say 34barelyB to 38 D? Good grief! I think its now time for me to don a Golden Globes Dress!

  10. I’m so happy to have found your confession on MODG so I could find your blog. I love that you numbered “the reasons” and that you met your love on (I met my boyfriend of 5 years on there as well).

    I can’t wait to read more!

  11. You never fail to completely entertain me. Seriously, this post was hilarious and I love you all the more for it!

    I have to agree with you on the Megan Fox thing – to be completely honest, she bothers the hell out of me. Maybe if she didn’t seem like such a snooty bee-yotch it would be okay. Because LORD HAVE MERCY she is snooty.

    (And, for the record, if I were male, I’d be all over that redhead, too. You know…if I were a guy. Or something. Girl crush? What?)

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