Things that aren’t supposed to give me sads, but most definitely do because, let’s be real… when am I ever happy?

  1. Bagels covered in an inch of cream cheese. This is where I get angryfists at the normal people who can eat dairy without their stomachs morphing into that of a woman about to give birth. Yes, that bagel I just ate was scrumptious, but I’m currently carrying a 15 pound gas baby. One day I’ll take a picture and show you… you’ll run away in fear.
  2. Losing a few too many pounds. I know, go ahead stab me now for even complaining. I used to kill girls like me (in my mind), but I have pancake-secretary butt, my boobies are too small and I cry into my pillow. I looked better before.
  3. Hugs. Sometimes I just don’t want them.
  4. Birthdays. 24th birthdays to be exact…
  • Pros: Presents, free meals & attention (my faves)
  • Cons: BEING OLDish & having to spend money on things that are boring and practical like anti-wrinkle cream and Dr. Scholl’s inserts.

If you direct your attention to the right, you will notice I added a new Category entitled Me Being Crazy. It’s about to get scary around here, as I am crazy and have a lot of stories of crazy things I’ve done and continue to do. Consider yourself warned.

Happy Friday!

19 thoughts on “Things that aren’t supposed to give me sads, but most definitely do because, let’s be real… when am I ever happy?

  1. I ALWAYS forget you’re a youngster!! Even tho it’s only 2 yrs you have to admit TWENTY SIX sounds a lot older than 24, no? Also if you think you have the sads now, just wait until your 25th bday…I cried for weeks beforehand. Wait, I’m not helping things am I.
    I’m not necessarily too skinny but I DO get annoyed when I lose weight b/c what the heck. My clothes don’t fit anymore and THAT is annoying. Saggy baggy butt in jeans? NO THANKS. So pass me a bagel with an inch of cream cheese k? thx.

  2. Let’s fatten you up this weekend! Gardettos + mimosas + bacon ice cream + some In N Out on the way home? + other goodies too! yes yes yes. Hmmm. And maybe some french toast? omg I want some brunch for lunch!

    I really didn’t want to turn 25 … and I’m really really really really dreading 26 in April. so sad. I’ll be closer to 30 than 20. UGHGHGHG. nooooo. Jimaie gave me a lecture about how I’m supposed to be happy to be alive or something. :P ha.

    oh, and I love that hugs give you the sads. HA!!!! that’s awesome.

  3. I so agree about the hugs. Heck, I hate shaking hands. Do you agree? I mean, do we really need to clasp hands when we meet? I don’t know where these stranger’s hands have been! I try to wave at people when I meet them, and only shake if they’ve already outstretched their hand, because I don’t want to make them feel bad.

  4. I just found your blog a couple days ago. I must say- you are cracking me up!

    Birthdays suck after 21. All you get to do after that is pay a gazillion dollars for new tags on your car.

    In my opinion, you are allowed to be crazy. I enjoy reading about your crazy- I’m a closet crazy….Only my hubby see’s it and sometimes it scares him.

  5. Oh if I were only 24 again! I will be hitting 28 in a couple weeks. I’m on the downhill slope to 30 and it scares the living daylights out of me!!

  6. Loved your cream cheese teeth mark tweet!

    If you ever figure out a non-medical way to get those boobies back, let me know. :)

  7. my belly does the same thing after eating dairy, and considering i’m almost halfway through carrying a *real* baby… the gas baby & the real one end up getting in a tug-o-war for space and my stomach gets ginormously huger than it really is & i lay on the couch and burp 150 times.

    it’s attractive, lemme tell you.

    and lololol @ hugs making you sad… best thing i’ve read all day.

  8. Ok…so I must be really old at 31. Sadly, birthdays just aren’t as fun after 21 and probably after you start getting hang-overs again. Then you feel really old.

    After having and breastfeeding a lactose intolerant baby, I feel your pain on dairy products. You want to have them but that “gas baby” isn’t cute.

    I’ve lost a bagillion pounds since having my second daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I was no beast before hand, just about 10 pounds more than I wanted especially in the trunk. Now I have no butt…would have been nice to keep at least a handful.

    Wow…can I relate to this post or what?

  9. #3: I’m SO glad I’m not the only one. I feel like quite the hag when my husband tries to hug me and I’m just not “in the mood” for a hug! =/

  10. okay so i’m fortunate enough to not have dairy issues except that cream cheese is for the fatty fat fattening and i have opposite problems in the weight category. (except I lost 25 pounds last year and just went down a bra size and realized it AFTER ordering a bunch of victoria’s secret bras which are MESS LESS SEXY when they look like empty grocery bags)
    but i remember when i was a teen we’d ask at Tim Horton’s to have our bagels serve open faced and they were too lazy to divvy up the scoop of cream cheese they spread so they’d wind up giving us double the cream cheese and we were all like MWAHAHAHA NOMNOMNOM
    and it makes me kind of sad that i know this trick and cannot act on it or my love handles will come back.

  11. 24??! oh girl. imagine looking 38 straight in the eyes and knowing that you’re practically right on top of 40. GAH!! i always figured 40 would be hard, but now that it’s RIGHT THERE, i’m seriously starting to panic.

    hold me.

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