Me caveman. Me push letter rocks to write message.

What is this strange electronic contraption sitting before me? A what? A comp– compute–OH!  Hold up. I think I remember something about these things. Just gimme a second to crawl out of this dark cave I’ve been living in for the past several weeks, peel these yoga pants off and shave my pits.

It’s been a while, internet.

So I know that no one likes to hear “Sorry, I’ve just been SO busy lately!” under any circumstance, but it seems to make people especially stabby when it’s coming from a stay at home mom. I can recognize why that would be extremely annoying. Like, Morgan, we all know you’re just sitting on the couch playing Scramble with Friends and drinking your almond milk while your kids are beating each other over the head with pink pool noodles. So shuttup.

That just happened, actually…

(Never mind the classy bachelor lamp in the corner that my husband has owned since about 1998.)

*whiny voice* But guuuuuuysssss. I have just been SOOO busy lately.

I know you’re making the Michael-hates-Toby face at me right now. Stabs are welcome.

OKAY WOW. This post is already all over the place. I knew this was going to happen.

So back to the ‘busy’ thing. A few weeks ago, I decided to take a break from the internet to spend more quality time with my kids. It’s called Mommy Guilt and I seem to catch a giant case of it nearly every time I sit down at the computer while my kids are awake. I can’t help it. I feel like I’m neglecting them and it’s just not a great feeling to be… feeling. I know I have an online “life” to keep up with, but sometimes it’s really awesome to step away for a while. So these periods of silence on Mrs. Priss, Facebook, Twitter and email… that’s me off trying to be a better mom. I’ll find that balance eventually, but for now, it’s all my little stressed out brain can handle.

Other than trying to keep these two crazy kids entertained and this house clean (I sense you judging me by that photo above), I’ve been exercising like a mofo. Every night when Maddie and Jack go to bed, Justin and I clear out the living room and prepare to get all sweaty. Don’t be a perv. We’re in our 3rd week of this brutal, fetal-position-inducing workout program called Insanity.

I’m aiming to look something like that big black guy in the middle. Nbd. I think I’d wear that look well.

ANYWHO, what’s new with youuuu? Anyone want to shave my legs for me? I can pay you in sweaty hugs. Aaaand that’s my cue to stop writing.

21 thoughts on “Me caveman. Me push letter rocks to write message.

  1. Hey, I love your site. Not that you need to hear from me about this, but I have four kids, and would kill for my living room to look that clean with the kids playing in it!!! Not likely in my lifetime however. and I was a sahm for like 5 years, i finally went back to work, but I know first hand, that sahm don’t sit down, at least I didn’t, there is always something to clean, or put away, or do on the computer, or grocery shop, the list is endless. So, anyway, just wanted to give you a high five for taking time with your kids and now, get back to work. HA! Just kidding!

  2. I’m glad you’re back! And I want to hear about Insanity and see a pic of you in that sweet t-shirt you get afterwards.

  3. Leslie: Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself! :) And you know how it is then! I wonder a lot about how it will be when I go back to work. Do you ever get the sudden urge to clean your coworkers’ faces with wipes?

  4. Amy: The real reason I’m doing the whole thing is to get that t-shirt, you know. 2 months of agony for a $3 shirt? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

  5. No, but I almost cut my bosses meat at lunch one day. I think I had only been there a month, so that was embarrassing. The messed up thing is, I carry wet ones in my purse whether the kids are with me or not. I have had to have them for so long (my oldest is 6, my youngest is 18 months) that I don’t know life with out them. Its a sickness I know. I wonder what I will be carrying around when they hit the teens (which I might add, I am not looking forward to!)

    And on the insanity thing, the silly infomercial always, always, always comes on after Saturday morning cartoons, and my 6 year old is convinced we need to buy it. Having said that, way to go for attempting that. I

  6. Posts like this make me want to just give up blogging because, hello, you are that f’n funny. As for a SAHM.. I too thought they got to lounge around all day in PJs. That is, until I met my friend’s son who does not. stop. moving. All day. So yeah. New respect for momma worldwide.

  7. dude. insanity.
    we went to that dark sweaty place before I done got knocked up with número 5.

    it’s not pretty. the “fit test”…he puked afterwards. and one of us peed their pants. (you’ll never guess which one)
    but that trash works. so you go with your insane selves. one day mebbee I’ll be ready to get insane again myself.

  8. Don’t feel bad…I just wrote a post about how busy I’ve been for the last SIX months! And my post before that was about how busy I’d been for the past month. Geez! Yeah, I work full-time, have a part-time job, and a side business (or 2), but still…I think sometimes I am just lazy and want the time to just relax and just veg in front of a tv with my husband and dogs. Is that so bad?

  9. Being a sahm is not easy. But it is so worth it. I never realized how hectic life could be. People without kids really just can’t understand if they haven’t had little ones running around all day. People look at me like I’m nuts when I breastfeed. My daughter’s 12 months but is in the 97th percentile for height…I’m not particularly tall, so I guess people see her legs hanging out and assume I have a kindergartener under the blanket.

  10. i watched the insanity channel at my inlaws yesterday. i’m fascinated, really, but think they’d need to roll me away in a wheel chair after. i need a pre-insanity for babies.

    anyhow please don’t ever feel like you have to keep up with your social online life. people understand that you actually have a real life. as fun as the internet is, it really isn’t real. your kids are tiny and much more interesting than the rest of us, honest. we’ll be here. your tiny babies will not stay little forever. hugs.

  11. I hear you on being busy. Just keeping the house and trying to keep my girls’ challenged on the homeschooling front is a full time job, and they’re just in kindergarten and preschool!

    I’m supposed to be releasing my first novel in December, and I’m oh, about four months behind on the revisions. I haven’t updated my blogs in months, and it’s been so long since I’ve touched the store website, I had to contact my server for help logging in. Preparing for the spring and summer craft shows and sci-fi conventions is kicking my rear.

    Good for you for working out! I’m kinda jealous you have young ‘ens that will sleep through both of you working out hard. My youngest wakes up at the drop of a pin, and she keeps trying to hug my legs when I try working out when she’s awake.

  12. true story….my little sis and i used to put on our bike helmets, and go in the front yard with our pool noodles and play american gladiators. by hitting each other with them. my mom still thinks it’s pretty funny.

    insanity scares the bejeezus out of me….i barely make it through my 20-30 minutes on the treadmill every day.

  13. Girl I think we all fell of the blogger train for a couple of weeks! I noticed several of the bloggs I follow have been a little MIA lately, and I was off for a week and a half(ish). But the weather is warm and the kids want to play, so it’s perfectly fine to take time off to be a mom! Enjoy it as they always seem to grow too fast!! PS>if you ever find a way to clone yourself to be in 2 places at once, I’ll gladly purchase!! LOL

  14. How is Insanity really? Like, doable? I convinced my boyfriend to do a juice cleanse and my super cool yoga dvd’s with me, and in exchange, he wants me to do Insanity with him. Every time I see the infomercials for it I want to curl up in a ball with some ice cream and hide. I don’t think I was made for that type of intense workout. Or maybe I’m just a wimp. :)

  15. Jess: bahahaha, most nights that’s what I want to do when it’s time to work out! Go crawl somewhere and hide. It’s really intense, but definitely not impossible!

  16. ha ha!! You are hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. I hope the exercise pays off . I love gym! I go just about everyday and Zumba is an excellent way to burn calories, stay fit and tone just about every muscle in your body!

  17. Just feel like I should throw out there that it’s noon, I’m sitting on the couch in my jammies and no bra, my one kid is napping and the other is playing Wii. But to redeem myself a bit, the house is clean, kids fed, laundry going, I’m so pregnant my stomach is pretty much an underwire substitute, and I’m only in my jammies because I was waiting for naptime to take a shower because I find myself incapable of out-earlywakifying my 4 yr old so I stopped trying to beat her and just let her be my clock.
    As for working out, I haven’t done it once since I found out I was pregnant, which was about three days after the ‘grace period’ during which I could have cancelled the gym membership I had just signed up for. Three cheers for being stuck in a $40/m contract and not using it. First I was too tired/pukey and then I had aquired a taste for lazy.
    I’m going to go shower now. Then introduce myself to a bra and some makeup.

  18. My post-vacation self hates you for being all fit while I was stuffing my face, but yet again, you motivate me : ) !!!

  19. Finally! Someone else who does Insanity! I did it all last summer and, after sitting on my butt all winter, am back at. And brutal is correct. ‘Tis the exact adjective I use when describing it. Toootal love/hate. I STILL go to bed every night shaking in my boots knowing what’s on deck for the morn. But, it works like nothing else. Nuthin’. I suggest going for a second round for that’s when you really start to get chiseled. Dying to do The Asylum but, not until I can convince someone to suffer along with me. Anyone in Greenwich interested? Anyone? Anyone? chirp chirp chirp…XXOO

    ps…day 1 of week 5 is a killer. Total slap in the face. But, it’ll never be as bad again. Oh, it still sucks but, you won’t be calling for your mama again :)

  20. Don’t apologize! As a wise Dr. Seuss once said, those who care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care! I hope most of your readers are fans because you are mirroring our life on your blog and we get to read about it and laugh at both of us!

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