Jack, Maddie and I make regular trips to Target during the week. Regular, meaning five times a week on average. I know. Most of the time I have an actual list of things I need, but some days I am just so desperate to get out of the apartment that we just go for something to do. Yes, I just admitted I go walk around Target with a 2 year old and a 4 month old for fun. Anyone want to be my fwend?
Yesterday was one of those days where I actually had something specific to buy, that something being cereal. Justin eats gross kid cereal because it makes him feel young, I’m assuming. He refuses to eat any other breakfast food I buy. Bagels get the stink-eye and remain untouched in the bag on top of the fridge until they grow fur. I don’t even breathe the word oatmeal around him anymore because I just can’t handle watching the dry heaves.
Anyway, I needed to get my wittle husband his milk and ceweal, so I slapped some makeup on my face, packed up the kids and got everyone in the car with the Toy Story soundtrack blaring in 1.5 hours flat. There were zero meltdowns and zero poo-splosions, so naturally I was feeling positive about the day at that point.
Continuing my ride on the crest of happiness, I stopped at Starbucks and bought a latte with my new gold card.
BAM. I’ve been wanting to fit that into a post somehow for over a week. Isn’t it awesome/pathetic that I go there so often I earned a card with my name on it?
Once at Target, I fell into the usual trap spending $50 on random stuff I didn’t realize I needed until I saw it. Hairspray. Paper towels. A pair of the cute, cheap underwear that make my butt look good. If you’ve been to Target even once in your life then you understand what I”m saying. It adds up quick.
With a cart full of stuff, there was no longer room for Maddie, so I took her out and let her walk next to me. She kept wandering off, tried to hug a bunch of people and honed her klepto skills by sneaking items in the cart when I wasn’t looking. By the time we made it to the checkout line, I fished out a toothbrush, a can of soup and two tubs of frosting (which I honestly considered ‘buying on accident’, but oh yeah, I’m vegan now dang it). The most memorable event was when we took a short cut through the medicine aisle and she made a ridiculous scene while clutching a box of Gas-X. I promise I am not making this up… the kid would not let it go. I started panicking and hoping no one was watching my daughter and I physically fighting over gas medicine while simultaneously trying my hardest to make it obvious they weren’t for me. Because you know, when you have to buy something really personal in a huge store, you think everyone is judging you.
“Mommy doesn’t need those, silly girl!”
Fake smile to other shoppers.
“Put the box back on the shelf and we’ll go look at the toys!”
Beads of sweat. More tug of war.
After all that, I made it home, started unpacking the shopping bags only to realize I forgot the stupid cereal.