My Mom is sort of famous in our family for being unintentionally hilarious. She’ll say things that aren’t meant to be funny at all — you can tell by the ultra-serious look on her face — and when she does, my brother and I will slowly turn to look at each other with this blank look on our faces, then just start busting up laughing.
Also, Mom has always been quite protective of her chillun’s, and quick to tell us if we’re doing something that isn’t appropriate, but she’s very nice when doing so. This is the funny thing about Mom… She’s ALWAYS nice, even when she’s being mean. Tell me, HOW DOES THIS WORK? She has powers.
Also, she’s great and my favorite.
And she’s reading this so I’m being very, very careful right now. (Love you, Mom. Don’t hate me.) That said, I have a little story for you… and depending on how well Mom takes this post, I may be making this a regular feature on this blog. She’s blessed me with a ton of material.
When I was 18, I think I briefly considered getting a tattoo because I thought I was a real-live, badass adult and could do whatever I wanted and my parents couldn’t tell me no anymore. I told Mom about this tattoo dream I had for about 2 seconds because I told Mom everything. I figured she’d move on and forget about it as quickly as I had.
One day several months later, I was in my room (still living with my parents at the time) and Mom opens the door as I’m changing my clothes. I jumped and quickly covered up my exposed boobs.
Mom: WHY are you covering up?
Me: MOM! I’m changing! Close the doooooor!
Mom: Did you get a butterfly tattoo on your boob? You’re hiding it right now. I know this.
Me: No, Mom. I’m just sort of naked and don’t want to flash you. I promise I don’t have a butterfly tattoo on my boob.
- I briefly mentioned this tattoo I wanted, NEVER saying it was going to be a butterfly.
- Mom thinks that because I cover up when someone walks through the door, I’m naturally hiding my new butterfly tattoo on my boob.
- I was just being modest, I swear. No butterflies. And certainly not on boobs.
I have to give her props for being so specific in her accusation. What if she was right?? Do you know how amazing that would have been?
But she wasn’t. And now I write about it on my blog. Love you, Mom.