You ever have a day where your kid is being such a giant turd that you wish you could fly like an eagle, to the sea?
In this moment, I’m referring to Ruthie. I love that baby pieces and bunches, I do. But g’lawd, the child’s screams could shatter glass. She’s down for a nap right now and Jack and I are using this valuable time to just soak up the quiet, bathing in the blissful silence as our batteries recharge. And when Baby Shrieks-a-Lot awakens from her slumber, refueled and armed for battle, we will forge ahead in unity.
For real though, Jack is a champion. He is patient with his baby sis and such a perfect buffer and a calming presence for us girls. There’s just something so steady and not dramatic about him that I appreciate more and more every day. Not that I don’t appreciate my girls. They’re special and wonderful in their own way. It seems like they’re a lot like me and Jack is a lot like Justin. We really love and need those steady men in our lives to calm the cray cray.
So Ruth definitely has a uniquely fun and… challenging personality. She’s joyful and silly and actually has a pretty intelligent sense of humor, but she can also be a stinker. That special blend of smarty-pants and booger definitely spices up our lives.
(Am I the only one who thought?)
One of the particularly boogerish things Ruth does is when we’re watching a show, she’ll turn the television off. I know this is pretty basic as far as toddler behavior goes, learning boundaries and such, but not only does she push the button after we have told her a hundred times “that’s a no”, she does it with this little sassy smirk as she watches us react. It’s downright rude, I tell you.
“Are you seeing this, mom? I’m disobeying with flair again! Yes, I hear you. Away with your idle threats, woman! Oh crap, she’s coming…”
Kindly stop, dear little person of mine, and allow me to watch more than 2 minutes of this show at a time. You make me rewind that stupid Mickey Mouse Clubhouse intro 300 times a day. It’s the least you can do for the sweet one who birthed you.
She also snatches my phone and runs, occasionally changing my Facebook profile pic along the way. She smacks the keyboard when I’m typing. Her favorite place to hide remotes, phones, her siblings’ toys is the fireplace — I don’t even know what to do with that. It’s a lot.
But I do love her so much. Bless her sassy little heart. I feel like I have to say something nice because this is coming across neg, but can I just be real? The reality is that kids are wonderful and precious and a blessing to be sure, but it’s not always snuggles. I sometimes find myself blankly staring at one of my children who is making noise (whining, screaming, tattling, etc.) and I like am so worn down emotionally that I can’t even hear the sounds anymore. Like, I see their mouths moving, but nothing is registering in my mind.
I’m learning not to be hard on myself when I think these things like, “Why are you so annoying right now?” or “4 more hours until Justin gets home. Wait, it’s 5 hours! NOOOOO GOD WHYYYY?!”
This post is kind of all over the place, but that’s just life with little kids. I suppose there’s beauty in it all — you can go from zero to 100 on the crazy scale and then back again in a few moments. You can be completely frustrated at dinner time because no one’s eating what you just cooked, then have a tender moment with your child that melts it all away. You can be on the brink of exhaustion during the marathon bedtime routine and then in the very last, quiet moments of the day when you’re staring creepily at your sleeping kids, you fully remember and appreciate just how precious those little stinkers are.
The calm, the sass, the meltdowns — it’s all part of the package. Even if it’s not always reflected by our moods or reactions, or we’re powering through our day and we haven’t been able to be still long enough to feel those lovey dovey things, we know that the unconditional love for them is still firmly locked in and secure on the inside.
So if you happen to see me out at Target with this crazed look in my eyes, frantically throwing things in the cart while shoving snacks in my baby’s mouth to keep her from screeching at inhuman levels, know that I’m probably just feeling very “mom” right now. I’ll be fine in a few minutes.