My child will not be named after a well-known action hero.

Ahh, choosing a name. It can be a fun, exciting chance for expectant parents to bond or it can be a freaking nightmare, depending on who your husband is. I’ll give you one guess as to how splendid this experience has been so far.


Agreeing on a name for this baby has been a tedious process for Justin and I.  It was pretty easy for us to settle on Madeline, being that I had it chosen for my future daughter since I was 15 and was never going to change my mind, so help me God we both absolutely loved it right off the bat. This time around, he’s not been so cooperative. (Shoot.)

The man is more than just picky.  If he had a legitimate reason to rule out a name that’d be fine, but he’ll come up with these super ridiculous name associations as reasons why the would never work for a child of ours. They’re not even real reasons, they’re just… I don’t even know. Feel my pain as you read ACTUAL excuses he’s given me:

Amelia – “It just makes me think of a World War I plane.” You mean like Amelia Earhart?

Pearl – “Sounds like an old woman who smells like mothballs and shops at Penny’s.” My Great-Aunt Pearlie doesn’t smell like mothballs. I’ll have to confirm the JCPenny thing though…

Elijah – “It’s just because you want to call him Eli, isn’t it? No.” BUT IT’S CUUUUUTE!

Liam – “Prime rib.” …Really????

He doesn’t really contribute any ideas, he just disagrees in a really annoying way. I can’t work like this. All Justin knows is that he wants our kid to have a badass name. If this baby is a boy, he is going to fight me tooth and nail to have his middle name be “Danger” just so he will be able to say “My middle name is Danger.”  Aaaaand you think I’m joking.

As of right now, this baby is being referred to as Jack Bauer Bruce Wayne Schwarzenegger Danger Gable. It… it just doesn’t have the classic sound I’m aiming for.

I’ll keep you posted on any new developments. Prayers are welcome.