Remember that one time I dressed up as Mary Poppins for Halloween and it was absolutely terrifying? I have an even BETTER idea.

Pregnant Britney, you just made it so easy for me to decide this year.  Bring on the frappuccinos!

And in case you weren’t around this time last year when we were discussing costume ideas, here’s a little glimpse of the horror:

Have you decided what you’re going to be this year?

Mary Poppins, Robin Hood, & the Jazzerciser

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My buddy Curtis (Bert) and I (Mary) at the Murder Mystery dinner

The murder mystery dinner was an absolute blast. Everyone’s costumes were so flipping awesome and hilarious, I died! Justin, as some of you guessed, was Robin Hood, but unfortunately we weren’t able to find him green tights. You better believed I tried though… what I would have given to have a lovely set of blackmail photos!

Lord knows, everyone on Facebook has plenty of my ridiculous costume they can use against me…

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Justin ended up being a tasteful Robin, wearing khakis instead of tights & a felt hat I made for him.

Madeline’s costume was pretty simple… we pretty much had everything for it already. Though it pained me to put her in velcro tennis shoes (I cringe) and she wasn’t wearing a thong leotard, the Jazzercise costume did turn out pretty well.

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Maddie as a jazzerciser

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Do you know what the best part of Halloween was this year? Eating all Maddie’s hard-earned candy… in one sitting.

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Oh, yes we did.

Chim chiminey, Chim chim cher-oo

In keeping with the current theme of my blog — trannies & drag queens — I’m going to let you in on a little secret of mine that has only been shared with those truly close to me…

No, I’m not secretly a man.  I’m going to actually DRESS UP for Halloween this year. Get it? Dress up… Drag? Too far? Okay.

Anyway, our young adult classes at church are getting together for a mystery dinner next weekend, which I’ve never actually participated in, but I’ve heard they’re such a blast. We were all assigned costumes that are to remain a secret until that night, where we’ll all show up in character. It sounds downright silly, but I think that’s the point of it all.

I was slightly horrified when I received my costume assignment on a slip of paper in the mail. I have just a few days to scour thrift stores and possibly my great-grandma’s closet so I can transform into this classy, yet terrifying lady:

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My question for all of you is this…

Should I go for the traditional, umbrella-flying Mary?

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Or the gussied-up, horse race Mary?

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And if you think THAT’S bad, wait until you see who Justin has to be. I’ll give you a hint: it involves a hat and tights.