Please don’t Qwit me.

via

Have you ever been dumped without any warning at all? Without even a hint as to what you did or said to make this person not like you anymore? I have. Many times.

Me: Butbutbut… please just tell me what I did!

Dumper: Morgan, it’s over. Just let it be.

Me: We had so many good times! Remember that one time I made you LOL IRL? I can be funny, see? Just please give me another chance… I can be better for you, I promise!

Dumper: *silence*

Me: Wait! I CAN CHAAAAAAANGE!!

I’m actually not referring to past boyfriends. This pathetic scenario actually plays out for me each and every morning when I check my email. It’s the same thing every time…

I have a new message waiting for me. I go back and forth trying to decide whether to read it or not because I already know how it’s going to end and it’s not going to be pretty. Curiosity always wins the battle. I hold my breath. I read the message. It has a list of  names. I scan through them and am baffled. What? My super deep and exciting thoughts about pregnancy puking, rude co-workers and Starbucks purchases aren’t exciting enough for these people!?

And then I may or may not shed a tear and go write in my diary. With glitter gel pens.

So for those of you who haven’t yet been lovingly kissed atop the head by Satan himself, let me introduce you to Qwitter. It’s a sweet little program that finds out who unfollows you on Twitter and promptly tells you about it FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. I know, isn’t that a great way to start the day? Finding out who would rather read the things John Mayer blabs about than your dull stuff? It’s way better than Wheaties!

I know it’s really not that big of a deal, considering I know about 10% of my Twitter followers in person, but STILL. sads.