Oooh okay, NOW I remember. This is the magical turning point in the pregnancy. The time where I’m juuuuust starting to feel normal and somewhat cute then my tiny little belly says, PSYCHE! and blows up to beast-status, the chipmunk cheeks make their grand return and I just look haggard no matter how much highlight powder I pile on my face.
Oh, pregnancy. You whore.
Despite the fact that my thighs are taking over the planet, I feel remarkably well! The baby is supposed to be somewhere around 2lbs right now, and I definitely believe it by how well I can feel his kicks and wiggles in there. Justin’s probably sick of me by now because I’m constantly bugging him to FEEL MY BELLEH! It’s just so crazy to think there’s a tiny person in there… I don’t think it’ll ever get old.
Okay, now I have kind of a sick question for you. I just had my monthly Chipotle lunch date with my friend Kristy who is due a few weeks before me. As usual we discussed our crazy symptoms, cravings and all the other gross stuff that we’re going through (it keeps us sane). Out of nowhere, I remembered something that happened at one of my very last checkups while pregnant with Maddie. It must have been just so traumatic that I blocked it from my memory, but I seriously can’t remember WHY it had to be done. So riddle me this… What exactly is the purpose of the butt swab at 36 weeks?
First things first. A few weeks back I wrote a post about angry pregnant women wanting to kill you. A little harsh. I think I may have angered some pregnant women and also terrified the rest of you in the process. I PROMISE on my shoe collection that I will never harm a hair on your pretty little heads if you say anything about my baby/pregnancy/gas belly (because again, we know that all it really is at this point). It was all in fun, but I still want to say I’m sorry to the nice pregnant ladies and to everyone else who may be hiding from me under their couches at this very moment. xo
Now let’s get to business.
I have an ultrasound today and there’s a possibility I may see a penis nub. You know how much this concerns me. Still, I’m really excited about being able to see the baby again because last time I was only able to get 2 ultrasounds the entire pregnancy and it was really disappointing. Pregnant ladies love their ultrasounds. It’s true.
Symptoms this week:
More barfing. Actually, I should be clear about this… it’s not actual throwing up and more like just a chronic case of the dry heaves, which I fully believe was something conjured up by an evil witch doctor who lives in the swamps. There’s no satisfaction of a job well done or even a flush! Just a lot of disturbing sounds coming out of your mouth.
Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad skin.
Ravenous hunger and odd cravings. Most people know I’m weird about my meats. Like, I basically only eat white meat chicken after it’s been dissected and I know for sure it has nothing questionable in it. I found a vein once and… let’s just not discuss my reaction. Anyway, I’ve been craving roast beef. I DON’T DO BEEF.
Sexy dreams involving ugly actors I am in no way attracted to in a conscious state. I’ve been debating on whether to take you all there and I’m not quite sure I (or my family who reads my blog) would be all that comfortable with it, so for now I’ll just leave it to your imagination. (Skeet Ulrich. JUST NO.)