Little Mama

Lately, Maddie’s really been getting into baby dolls. I was worried for a while there because she has this one doll whose eyes open and close, and she thought it was the most hilarious thing to poke the baby’s eyeballs. She was actually quite obsessed with poking those eyeballs. ┬áNOT exactly the most comforting thought when you’re bringing another baby into the family soon.

Thankfully, she’s learning to be gentle and more motherly and I have a feeling she’s going to be such a sweet big sister in just a few short weeks. (!!!!!)

How do you scare a bee?

Okay, we all know I talk about the boobs too much. I’m sorry, it’s just the woman I’ve become after saying goodbye and then reuniting with them so many times. It’s how I deal with all the trauma. Now, Maddie, on the other hand… she’s just discovering these things. She actually knows most of her body parts and will proudly poke you in the EYEBALL or stick her finger straight up your nose if you ask her to locate them. It’s a bit painful.

How she discovered boobies was actually an accident. A month or so ago, I was getting out of the shower and had this ridiculous purple puffy shower cap on my head. I love the thing because it works super well, but Justin won’t even make eye contact with me while I wear it because it’s just so hideous. I’ve learned to use this to my advantage. I mean… what?

Well, little Maddie Jo skipped up to me from across the room as I was getting dressed and was pointing that little chubby finger up at me. “What’s thaaaat?” she asked (another favorite phrase of hers).

“This is Mommy’s shower cap!” I said. Maddie then stepped closer to me and fully poked me in the boob as she does with every other body part. She repeated again, “What’s thaaaaaaaat?????”

“Oh. OHH. Umm. Those are… boobies.” She’s only a year and a half, but still… AWKWARDNESS. Maddie repeated, “BOOBEEEEEZ!!!” and ran out of the bathroom saying it over and over. And she hasn’t stopped since.

So yesterday my grandpa took her swimming. My Grammy told me she pointed to his chest and told him he had boobies. She also yanks on people’s shirts in attempt to show everyone in the vicinity the boobies. It’s becoming a problem.

And the potty training hell begins…

Remember that time a few days ago when I mentioned how we were going to try to start potty training? Well, it’s happening.

Last night I was filling up the bathtub. Normally, that’s the time where I sit Maddie on her little potty and tell her to go pee-pee because after a few of these types of situations, you learn to take the necessary precautions, yo. Well, we’ve been doing this for about a week and she’s never actually tinkled in it… she basically just sits and says, “peepeepeeELMO!!peepeepee” over and over. She’s really into Elmo right now, I don’t know.

Anyway, so I’m filling up the tub and I turn around to see a chubby white naked butt running down the hall. (Nooo, it wasn’t Justin, but you’re quite welcome for providing you that ridiculously scarring mental picture.) Maddie had her mini potty in hand and was making a break for the living room. I called her to come back in to take her bath and she pretty much skipped back around the corner with a huge LOOK WHAT I DID! smile on her face. I thought it was odd, since she was still mumbling about Elmo, so I was like, “Yeahyeahyeah, ENOUGH ABOUT ELMO. Let’s take a bath already.”

Fast forward 15 minutes. I go to pick up the potty she dragged into the living room and lo & behold, there was pee pee in it. Pee pee that I just happened to sling all over the living room floor. Ah, motherhood.

She apparently ran into the living room with her toilet, peed, and ran back into the bathroom in about 15 seconds flat. I was all, “MADDIE!? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!? GOOD GIRL!” And she responds with, “ELMO!!!“, like, duh, Mom. What did you think I was saying??