I’m in Sugar-Free Hell.

I just bought a latte. See below.

Please note the calculator I stuck in the photo at the last second, because I want you all to be impressed by how brilliant and mathematical I am.

Drink: Latte

Milk: Soy

Syrup: FREAKING SUGAR FREE VANILLA.

So now my latte currently tastes like vanilla, with a subtle hint of death.

Since I ordered it with soy milk (I’m lactose intolerant and real milk makes me look 5 months pregnant), the barista must have automatically assumed I’m one of those healthy people (I’m not) who doesn’t like to consume sugar (I definitely do) and enjoys vom’ing on her drive to work (I don’t, but I did).

(Okayyyy, I didn’t vom. But after that first sip I immediately realized it was an imposter latte, and I may or may not have dramatically grabbed my neck with both hands as if I were dying. Because I was.)

Who likes sugar-free? And who wants to murder it? * Raises hand *

Slightly Obsessed

I was sitting here at my desk (where I do most of my blogging, being the dedicated employee that I am), drinking my coffee and eating some breakfast when I came to this realization… I am pretty much addicted to all things vanilla.  Let me give you a run-down of my morning:

  • Washed up with Philosophy’s Vanilla Birthday Cake in the shower

  • Rubbed on a few big globs of Victoria’s Secret Vanilla Lace lotion

  • Grabbed a vanilla flavored Dannon Activia yogurt from the fridge for a mid-morning snack

  • Picked up my daily soy vanilla latte from Starbucks (and 3 Petite Vanilla Scones, just for kicks)

Are we noticing a trend here?  And now that I think about it, whenever I have a choice between chocolate or vanilla frosting, I pick vanilla.  I won’t even start with the flavored lip glosses or the amount of scented candles I have around the apartment!

I really hope it’s a good thing to smell like a cookie.